Be careful not to say Betelgeuse 3 times, because if you say Betelgeuse 3 times, then Betellllwoow that was close.

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What's the difference between a pizza and a jew? A pizza is an Italian food and a jew is a human that practices the Jewish faith

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Why did the chicken cross the road...

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Jimmy is taking a walk to Dairy Queen he walks into an allyway where he is shot with a 44 magnum and later dies in hospital his family morns

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Why did Ian die Because I shot him with a gun

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What is green and drives around in the desert and is not a tank? secretly a tank

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My mom farted, she also has Alzheimer's, I also have Alzheimer's. Also pizza didn't like it

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Why did Little Timmy eat Smarties before school? Because he was hungry.

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Why does Santa Clause not have any children? Because he only cums once a year.

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What's green, has six legs and lives in the jungle? A Snooker Table.

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What do you call a woman with one leg shorter than the other? Whatever her name is.

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1 + 1 = 2 If it was equal to 11 the problem would be impossible

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Sarah, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and even though she is a little sweaty At the moment, you realize what a beautiful woman she really is. You decide to ask her to marry You, and after she says yes, you two make passionate love in the front seat Of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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What Did batman say to robin before they got in the car..... Get in the car

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What's the difference between sand and menstral blood? I can't gargle sand

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-Your mom worked as a prostitute and died a virgin.

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Your momma's so fat that she contracted type 2 diabetes and died at a young age because obesity is a huge problem in America.

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Timmy: "Dear Santa, why don't you ever come to my house?" Santa: "Because you don't have parents, Timmy" THE END

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Why did the slut suck a dick? Because she's a slut.

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9 tottenham fans walk into a french bar 2 minutes later French fans attack them saying this is for making our history lessons boring 1 shouts ohh the holocaust French fans ash him even more 5 say there call the jew squard next minute there getting attacked by a bunch of kids and lying that there were 30 neo Nazi men.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, if you didn't know that, go back to school.

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Why didnt the poor black man have cell phone service? Because seven eight nine.

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Why did Elmo get depressed? All his friends sacrifised themselves to satan

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Who is the fattest mexican on the earth? Not Osama because he's dead...and he wasn't mexican..

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops