i was quite upset when my girlfriend called me a peodifile, what does she know, shes only 6.

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What did the blade of grass say to the other blade of grass? Nothing, as grass does not have the capability of speaking and does not have a brain, all it has is a complex life system where it feeds off water. If it were to say anything though, it would say, "Hey! We're both blades of grass!"

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead.

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Two women get in the shower at the same time, because they both start work at 8:00am and have commutes of similar length.

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lol i'm going to hell for laughing at this shit

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There's a black guy, a yellow guy, and a white guy. Which one survives? All of them do. See. I'm not racist!

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"Everyone be very quite. Dont say a word or well get eaten by the big, fat stupid ugly fat faced dinosaur in that cave over there." "A word or well get eaten by the big fat stupid ugly fat faced dinosaur in that cave over there." "Look how clever Charles is now were all screwed."

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Ol-ive

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Dig Bick Your dislexic

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"I see!" said the blind man, as he picked up a saw and hammer.

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One day, a small bald man was walking up the street, when her saw a large red porche, extremely grand, and the door was wide open. He walked over and inspected the open door, and to his surprise, the keys were in place by the steering wheel. He was a good man, with a loving wife and two teenage children, and he had no intention of steeling the vehicle. But astonished by the owner lack of protection, he hopped into the car and drove it around the block, just for the thrill of riding such an amazing car. Around 30 seconds after, he parked the car, got out, leaving the car in the same place, with the door open and the keys in, then he walked home and lived the rest of his life.

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Little Anny fell on a sidewalk. Why isn't she crying? 'Cause I've thrown her out off the tenth floor.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Goodbye to the people who hated on me

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What did the Jamacian say to his friends? Yo me Rastas' on de cloud shroud atta boy 9PM we rizzle into da hitasses bar and we order us da drink of "grandpa's cough medicince" me tinks, who grees wid my view od oftaday Rastas?

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Why couldn't Jack and Jill climb the hill? Because they were bagels.

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why was Logan sad? he was raped by his daddy multiple times

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Why did the man eat his own shoe? Because it was a tissue box.

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What did the boy say before he died? I'm dying.

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man:"gullible is written on the celling" boy looks up

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I woke up this morning and ran five miles. I am proud of myself for engaging in such a healthy lifestyle.

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How do get a cat to like you? Give it lots of love and attention

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What happened to the baby in the microwave. I don't know I was too busy masturbating off to it in my clown suit

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A strange man knocks at the door He's your son

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how did the bus fall outa the tree it got hit by a hellicopter how did the boy fall outa the tree he was attached to the bus how did the chicken fall outa the tree it fell off the branch

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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