What is Blue, Pink, and Green, and sometimes sparkles when wet? Grass. I lied about the Blue and Pink to throw you off...because I can.

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Why did Jerry Sandusky appeal his conviction? Because the judge wrongly considered inadmissible evidence.

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what's black, white and doesn't float? the titanic

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Q: why do orphans always go hard? A: because the can never go home.

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Why is six afraid of seven? Six isn't actually afraid of seven. It is true that seven devoured nine's carcass, but one has to understand that cannibalism is not a taboo in their culture. In the world of cardinal numbers, protein is precious and leaving corpses to rot is dangerously unsanitary. You should not judge them by the standards of human society. It's ignorant and offensive.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? His family was being held hostage on the other side.

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What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the Batmobile? Get in the Batmobile.

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Is this your pen? I wanna go to school, bye!

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Why didn't andrea clean the dishes? She had no hands

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Knock Knock. There was no answer.

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A man walks into a doctors office. The doctor says "I've got good news and bad news. Which do you want first?" The man responds "Let's have the good news." The doctor says "I ran a series of tests and found you have leukemia, but your insurance paid for everything." Shocked, the man asks "What's the bad news?" The doctor answers "Your company is switching to a private insurer and because of your pre-existing condition you're being denied coverage. None of your future treatments will be covered."

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What is the difference between Steve Jobs and a PC? PC's are not dead.

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Why couldn't the man sleep? Because he was a wax model in a museum, and as we all know wax models are inanimate objects thus incapable of consciousness and therefore incapable of unconsciousness as well. Many other inanimate objects are caught up in similar problems relating to their incapability to do anything.

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When is a door not a door? When it is ajar.

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A student goes up to the teacher because he has to go to the washroom. The teacher tells him that he has to sing the ABC's before he can go. So the boy sings, "ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ." The teacher said he did a perfect job and could go to the washroom. The boy went on to become a billionaire. Congrats!

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Did you hear about the comedian cereal killer?...He raped his victims before strangling them to death.

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Holocaust jokes aren't funny. Anne Frankly, I do not stand for them.

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H2O corndogs running around naked CC

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what did the black man say to the Muslim? "you the bomb"!

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Why did Sally fall off the swing She had no arms Knock knock. Who's there? Not sally

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How do you kill a squirrel? Take the jaws of life. Rip it in half. And suck on the organs.

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Q: What does a baby look like in a microwave? A: I don't know, I don't masturbate with my eyes open.

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What happens when a man runs naked into a bank? He doesn't get service because he isn't wearing shoes or a shirt

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A Mexican guy, a black guy, and an ISIS member walk into a bar. The black and Mexican men, realizing the potential danger in the situation quickly exit the bar and alert the proper authorities. $

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops