Q. What's rare, horny, and a myth towards most guys who have never seen one? A. A Unicorn.

There were two penguin's sitting in a bathtub. The first penguin says to the second penguin, "Hey, pass the soap." And the second penguin says, "What do i look like, an alarm clock?"

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was standing up.

What is the similarity between John W. Booth and Pee Wee Herman? They both got arrested for shooting someone in the back of the head in the theater.

I never made a mistake. I thought i did once but i was mistaken

A man walks into a bar said man is escorted out of said bar said man may have died from a serious case of alcohol poisoning whilst in said bar he was escorted as dead people have trouble moving of their own accord experts discovered later that the man had actually been brutaly beaten by another man wielding a bar stool this shows that experts are not very smart

Yo mamma's so fat that the gravity required to keep her on the ground is significantly smaller than an average sized human.

Hey babe, did it hurt when the doctor cut off your umbilical cord when your mother gave birth to you. Because I have a bellybutton too!

What is yellow, has wheels and lies on its back? A school bus after a horrible traffic accident.

What is blue and has wheels? A disabled Smurf!

why did the chicken cross the road? it was suicidal.

What do you call a dolphin without a head? Dead.

Why do black people have nightmares? Because we killed the only one with a dream.

SHUT UP JP

A man walks into a bar, orders a drink, drinks it, and leaves.

Safety in numbers? Try telling that too six million Jews.

Because the tractor hadn't seen the chicken.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being black

What does a Twihard, a Brony, a Belieber and a Gleek all have in common? They all ruin the Internet.

How did Helen Keller's parents discipline her? Hopefully not too sternly. There's not much trouble a blind and deaf girl can get into, one would imagine.

Its behind you like if you looked behind

Fight fire with with fire! That would be impossible, it'd just make the fire bigger. And probably kill you.

What was the color of the big lipped, struggling rap artist who violently raped and killed a young woman after robbing a convenience store at gunpoint? Red. He was covered in blood.

What's green and if you eat it you die? A Biljarts table.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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