Why did Johnathan drop his popsicle? He was hit by a bus. Knock knock? Who's there? Not Johnathan

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What do you call a seedless pumpkin? A pumpkin.

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Why did the mailman deliver the wrong mail to people's houses? He's a bad mailman.

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How is a monkey like a bicycle? They can both climb trees. Except for the bicycle.

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Why did the woman go in a elevator with Ray Rice? Because they were both going to the 25th floor and stairs would take too long.

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-What's sad about four black guys driving off a cliff? -They were my friends.

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Why did the young girl fall off of the swing set? Because a man came up behind her and pushed her. He then picked her up, brought her home and fed her a nice three course meal and put her to bed. When she woke up she snuck out of the house and alerted the police.

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What did one pig say to the other pig while sitting in the bathtub? No thanks I already have a typewriter.

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Why was little Timmy mauled by a bear? He poked it with a pointy stick.

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What is brown and sticky? A stick

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Q: Why are there no tablets in the jungle? A: The pharmaceutical logistics involved would be enormous and would make very little business sense.

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What do you call someone who is bad at hand eye co-ordination? Dispraxic

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Frostbite. He died the following day.

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My black friend love grape soda and koolaid, with his fried chicken, and i dont think its racist cuz i also enjoy the same things at times

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In Soviet Russia you don't drive car, because the Soviet Union was disbanded in 1991

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I have tuberculosis because Ebola is too mainstream.

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In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

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Roses are red I got a new phone But no one to text Forever alone

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What do Justin Bieber and corn have in common? They are both fruits. Except for the corn.

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Aids, Black People, Cancer, Death, Retarded, Drunk, Sex, Black People, Holocaust, Blackies, White People, BLACK

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Q: what did the man with no eyes get for Chrismas? A: Reading glasses

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What's green and has wheels? The farmer's tractor.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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What did the kid with no legs get for Christmas? A Pogo Stick

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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