An elephant walked into a bar. By bar I mean jungle. Elephants aren't capable of walking into a bar.

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Why do dogs chase squirrels? Beacuse dogs have very low attention spands and also chase cars and cats.

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If Chuck Norris were to be hit by a train he would die

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A man walks into a pole and says "I know, this pun is lame"

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What happened when the man turned on his TV? It was tuned to the Discovery Channel

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A penguin walks into a bakery. The baker asks the penguin: "What kind of bread would you like? Brown or white?". Penguins answers: "Well, it doesn't really matter since I came here by car!".

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There are stars in the sky when it's dark. You may have noticed I used a contraction in the previous sentence.

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what's body surfing? sounds dumb.

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"Whats that boy? Timmy fell down the well??" Bout time

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What did the black man get for Christmas? A felony conviction.

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A man walks into a bar with an octopus. He tells the bartender that his octopus can play any instrument. The bartender gives the octopus bag pipes. The octopus fiddles with the bag pipes but can't seem to play them. The man gives the bag pipes back to the bartender and leaves with his octopus. He is quite embarassed and decided to get bagpipe lessons for his octopus.

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How many blonds does it take to screw in a light bulb? ... It shouldn't take anymore than one person to do this job, regardless of there hair color.

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1500 Jews were ordered to walk a straight path whilst in the midst of a blizzard. How close did they ever get to the end? What end? They marched until every last bit of their rotten Jew flesh was driven from their weak bodies. --Amon Goeth

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Why did the old man die? He was old.

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What did the fish say when it swam into a wall? "shit"

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Q. What do black people, Asians, and Irishmen call their moms? A. "Mom"

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knock knock. who's there? Kony. Kony who? Kony says:" Uganda be abducted"

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What's worse than reading the same joke multiple times? Having cancer.

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What's green and has wheels? The White House. I lied about everything, I'm so sorry.

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How does it change many dyslexics to take a lightbulb

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What's the difference between the NBA and the WNBA? What's the WNBA?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to my house. Knock knock. Who's there? The chicken.

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Why did the Mexican man grow a mustache? It wasn't his choice. Men naturally grow facial hair and he ran out of razors.

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An American, a Mexican, and a black guy all walked into the same bar. Why did the 'BEWARE OF METAL BAR' sign have to be in japanese?!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops