There were two friends, a girl and a boy. The girl had a ribbon tied to her neck, and every day the boy asked her why, yet she'd never tell him. They grew up together, and fell in love and still, she wouldn't tell him why she had the ribbon on her neck. They got married, and grew old, and still she wouldn't tell him. But one day, she said to him 'I'll show you why I keep this on my neck' and she took it off and her head fell off.

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Once upon of time, there was an ugly duckling. It was so ugly that everyone died. The end.

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Yo mamas so poor, she should probably find a source of consistent payment to support herself.

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Montague goes to the alcoholics meeting and says "Hello I'm Montague and I am an alcoholic" Evreyone points at him and chants "LOSER!, LOSER!, LOSER!, LOSER!" Montague is appaled, he expected to be welcomed with sympathy and respect. Then he realises his mistake. He has walked into meeting with a bottle of whisky and is wearing a Justin Beiber T Shirt

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There are two jews in an oven. One says "It sure is hot in here" and the other says "AHH A TALKING JEW"

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today in aa we were telling stories one of them was: that a girl put a wet cat (to dry it) in the oven

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There were three men walking across the road and it started to rain

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Where's the soap?

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Reality TV.

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Doctor Doctor! I think im turning into a carrot! Thats a side effect of the drugs Alice, We've just had your test results back. I'm sorry Alice, You've got HIV.

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What do you call a bird that can't fly? an ostrich

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What's silent but deadly? A baby falling from a 10 story building

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Whats long and hard? a baseball bat

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have herpes You should probably get yourself checked.

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Why was the nympho sweating in the park? Because they were having sex on the bench.

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a pope and a catholic priest walk into a bar... the priest orders... then the pope says to the bartender "I'll have what hes having." so the bartender takes out a small child and says ...."are you sure?"

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what did the man say to the doctor? how the hell would i know, ask him yourself.

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there was a lesbian, a bi-sexual and a homosexual at a wine bar having a drink.......They had a great night

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second koala fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first one. Why did the third koala fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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What was the racist kid's least favorite ice cream flavor? Chocolate for an unrelated reason.

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two mormons missionaries knock on a door they are welcomed into the home and treated with kindness later the family is baptized. the mormons return home with a sense of accomplishment and purpose.

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What can hurt you if you pee on it? A rabid grizzly bear

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What happened to the kids bike? It broke when he got hit by a bus

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A guy walks into a bar, sits down, and gives a heavy sigh. The bartender asks, "What's wrong?" The guy says, "Nothing."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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