I made a friend today. His name is don. He poops burritos. I like burritos.

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What do iPhones and Nokias have in common The nokia is indestructible. I lied about the iPhone

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What do you call a tree on fire? A burning tree.

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what is white and if it falls out of a tree it will kill you? a refrigerator.

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What is a cow's favorite place to go? The slaughterhouse.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Madame. Madame who? Just kidding it's Steve, but my damn foot's stuck in the door.

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how do you wash clothes in the diswasher? you turn it on.

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What do you get when you cross a porcupine with party balloons? Unhappy kids

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I had a dream I watched Inception.

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whats worse than one bee sting... two bee stings whats worse than two bee stings... the holocaust whats worse than the holocaust... three bee stings

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Me: What as 9595 legs,3500 eyes and 9894 teeth? You: I dont know... Me: Me neither,but its on your leg.

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American healthcare.

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A dyslexic man walked into a bar. Even though he couldn't read the sign, it was still a bar.

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square circles have souls but gingers do not CC

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Why did Lebron leave Cleveland? It's a terrible place to live.

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How are Steve Jobs and the iPhone similar? They both keep getting thinner as time goes on.

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knock knock who's there? Tommy Tommy who? Tommy Smith from across the street, i just ran over your dog.

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How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to change a light bulb? Well that would be crude and insensitive to ask a person with dementia to do a task so easily performed by a person who is not non compos mentis.

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How do you stop an assassin? Kill their target

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a snake in your liver. Because that could be hazardous to your health.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree He was dead Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree It was staples to the first monkey Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree Peer pressure

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What do you call a goose with no arms? A goose

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? I don't fucking know.

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what rhymes with sloth? rape

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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