Q:What happened to the leprechaun when it jumped in the water? A:It got wet.

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ceiling mounted bonerss CC

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? She's dead.

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What do you call a man that was decapitated by a stray saw blade? An ambulance until when you have a reality check and realize that in the mass hysteria of witnessing such a horrific event that this man is already dead. You then callan undertaker, his family and his friends to attend his funeral in a week or so. You then walk over to him and cry.

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why did the chicken cross the road? because there were no cars coming, and felt compelled to get to its family

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what goes oom oom a cow walking backwards

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What's worse then a worm in your apple You took a bite outta that apple.

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Goats are like mushrooms, If you shoot a duck im scared of toasters

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How do you tell identical twins apart? You can't. They look identical.

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What did the pauper want for Christmas? Money

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a jew, a gay, and an irishman walk int a bar at different times during the soan of 5 hours.

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How do you make a small fortune? Be financially smart, work hard, save money, all while you make sure you don't let your earnings become a "large" fortune.

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Q: What's the difference between a polar bear and a washing machine? A: Many things.

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What did the dog say to its anus? Woof

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Yo Mama's so fat, she weighs more than an electron.

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What's the difference between a screwdriver and DJ Pauly D? One's a tool and one is an inanimate object.

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What's black and white and red all over? A post-racial communist country.

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Global Warming.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Orange. Weird, orange is my favorite color.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "Why the long face?". The horse does not respond because it is a horse. It can neither speak nor understand English. It is confused by its surroundings and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

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Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

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My life

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What do you call a man with a black head, a red body, white arms and yellow legs? To get to the other side.

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Expensive cheese.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops