What's longer - 'an african american phallus' or 'a micronesian sphincter'? 'An african american phallus has' 24 letters as opposed to 'a micronesian sphincter' at 21 letters, so it is longer.

Why did the boy drop his ice cream? He wanted to catch the frisbee that was thrown to him.

What did the blonde do when she found out one is most likely to get in a car accident within 6 miles of the home? She drove more carefully in her neighborhood.

You.

What do you call a man with a convex isogonal nonprismatic head? Rhombicosidodecahedron head.

apple pie.

Three men sat at a pub, it reminded them of this joke they once heard

What do u call a black person in your backyard? Mufasa

Ever tried Ethiopian food? Neither have they.

why did the chicken cross the road? I dunno.

Why did Sally go to McDonalds? Because she felt like it

Bob: The whale is a creature that isn't naturally capable of creating any kind of technologically advanced unit of operations? Spectator: Was that actually a question or a statement? Bob: To be candid, occasionally my mind registers the practically indelible impression that I am not competent enough to effectively articulate my relatively subtle thoughts of philosophical value. Spectator: What'd you attempt to explicate? Bob: Hello, contemporary. Spectator: That's definitely considerably better than, "Benevolent greeting to you, fellow indigenous inhabitants of the magnificant, planetary cynosure, Earth Prime." You've managed to improve! Bob: I shall try to emulate those simpletons of this planet in order to garner new allies. Maybe next time I should just stick with some traditional routines that many people currently practice on a daily basis. Now, it's time to examine some "test subjects" so to educate myself further on the nature of my numerous classmates, purported facillitators etc. Spectator: Bye. Bob: See you next time! Wow... I amaze myself with my ability to efficiently adapt to my circumstantial situations. I mean, I am a ninja student who has developed new skills at communication! Wait... nevermind. Bystander: man, were you just soliloquizing... and personally enjoying it? Bob: Ehhh,... No? Bystander: Was that a statement or a question?

Why did the black kid fail in school? Because of the achievement gap.

Today I exchanged money for Meth. There is no joke here. I'm a drug addict

A man cheats on his wife and ruins his marriage of 24 years.

I wanted to burn some calories, so i lit a fat kid on fire

What's worse than a male chauvinist pig? A woman that won't do what she's told.

A man saw a dinosaur. He probably watched it on the television because dinosaurs have been extingt for a very long time.

Q: What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? A: The holocaust

Why couldn't Jimmy ride his bike? His family had to sell it in order to put food on the table

Im not racist i love black people i have 5 of them.

what's magenta and has 7 legs? nothing.

Why did the snowman melt? It got tired of everyday life and decided that it would be best if he disappeared from society... His name was Dave...

I you beat Chuck Norris in arm wrestling, you will be proud of yourself and he will go home with nothing.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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