Q: Why did the man cross the road? A: Cause he felt like it.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why did the Koala fall out of the tree? It got hit by a stone. Why did the second Koala fall out of the tree? It was hit by the first Koala. Why did the third Koala fall out of the tree? It thought it was a game. Why did the Kangaroo die? It was hit by three falling Koalas.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

How many dead babies can you fit in the trunk of a car? Any number if compressed sufficiently. At neutron star density all babies in the world would fit.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why did the cat cross the street? It didn't. I cut off its arms and legs so it couldn't walk.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

why did the cow cross the road because he wanted to go to the mooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooove

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Truth is Jordan Abu aita has a hairy @ss

thumb_up thumb_down -14

My Japanese girlfriend dumped me today...Oh well, theres plenty more in the sea

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Two black guys walk into a bar. They had too much alcoholic substances and got alcohol poisoning. Their families mourned for days and their kids grew u without a father. The end.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

2 sheeps are outside having a great time One sheep walks up to the other sheep and says: hello The other sheep says: hello Now what I want to know: what ally do you get your drugs from

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Everyone believes in something. If you believe "you'll have another drink," you may be an alcoholic.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What is worse than Jerry Sanduski? Nothing

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why did the chicken cross the road? His whole family killed themselves.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What is dark in the darkness even if you shine a torchlight on it? A blackman

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Mine.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

I have read and agree to the Terms of Service

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What did thirty starving Jews fight for on the train ride to Birkenau? A crumb. --ZeNaziGermanDoctor

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Sittin' on the couch with the morning post With a cold cup of coffee and some boring toast Thinkin' I'm-a change it up, yeah that's always fun What you reckon, Remz? A McDonald's run So we hit the couch cushions, need some dollars, friend Yo, I found a five. Man, that's Canadian. How 'bout a loonie? A twonie? A spoon or The Goonies? Oh, it's 10:25. Dude, you gotta move, G. Got the cash, got the car, got the pedal to the floor Speed limit's 25, but I'm doing 34 Going drive-thru style, man it's fast express You can call it trans fat, I call it happiness Roll up to the teller fella with a minute to spare Frenchy with a headset, "can I take your order?" A McGriddle with a little sweet and sour there, son A McMuffin, then be stuffin' muffins up in my trunk Then a tray or two of hotcakes, man I can't decide, uh... All's I know is hit them things with Aunt Jemimah How 'bout an egg fajita for some Texas flavor No drama but my momma wants a breakfast bagel Don't forget my #4, or there'll be hell to spend And I want them eggs poached like an elephant Frenchy back on the line, "is that all your order?" No it ain't, fool, I want a Coca-Cola! Get my cup of Coke and I'm-a start a riot Cuz on the cup lid, dude depressed the "diet" Check his shirt tag, and I catch the name Brian, I ain't tryin' to drink aspartame Sittin' on the couch, 'bout an hour later Pickin' at a pouch of some Now n' Laters Hardly starving, man, but I find a hunch Start the car up fast because it's time for lunch It just takes two bucks and I get what I need Two beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese "Supersize Me" said he's had enough of it But how is it bad for my heart if I'm in love with it? If you never had McDonald's, heck, well dude you should It's a party, like a Hardee's, except the food is good Just don't get a large #2, I plead with you friend Cuz it'll be a large #2 when you see it again Enter the store, first you holla, then you Pick a couple items off the dollar menu Four hot McNuggets, dessert with custard Mix the sweet n' sour with a squirt of mustard. A Big Mac attack, you can max the lettuce Paying ain't a pain, they take cash or credit Want a water? You can pay up there for spring Or get the free Grimace cup--how embarassing They say, "you're playing with a cardiac arrest, my boy" Only thing bad for my heart's when they forget my toy Now I'm-a have a milkshake, but before you rant It's made of shamrocks--now that's a plant People say it's bad, but I don't believe them McDonald's is peace--just ask Tom Friedman Momma catch me with a 'zine, and she's screaming "stop! Don't you worry, Mom, it's just my man Ray Kroc

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Whats worse than losing your keys? Your entire family dying in a preventable house fire.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why was the teacher having sex with her pupils? Because it was 2145 and that kind of shit is common then

thumb_up thumb_down -14

whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? having your titties super glued to a triceritops' as cheeks while the triceritops has chronic diahrea

thumb_up thumb_down -14

So a woman took her drivers test today Since she passed, and tomorrow is her 16th birthday, tomorrow she will have the legal privlage to get her license.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What would George Washington do if he was able to talk to all of America? Ask them to dig him up.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

One sux, the other is decent. But supporting the sucky one shows u are dedicated.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because grass don't eat meat.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops