a man walked into a bar and ordered a beer. The Bartender says okay, here you go.

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69...you know how awkward this is now...

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A black car pulls up early in the morning and slows down by your house You see him pull a mysterious object out of his car and point it at you, The paper boy tosses a newspaper at you

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Q. why did the girl fall off the swing? A. Because she had no arms.

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Why did the jews get off the bus? Because i threw a fridge at it

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Q: What's worse than getting jury duty? A: Getting herpies from a rabbit

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What does a penguins wear on it's feet? Nothing penguins are incapable of wearing foot wear, also they do not have feet they are called 'flippers'.

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What would a gay, transgender, mexican man say to another? We could have butt sex.

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How Does My cat have Sex? With Me.

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Who has a higher pitched voice than the average man? A woman.

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Why couldn't the blonde count to 70? because 69 was a mouth full:)

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You know how they say cats have nine lives? They don't.

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Q. What did the chicken say to the buffalo? A. Nothing, this is an improbable predicament.

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Whats grey and kills people, Terminal cancer,I lied about the grey color

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What's facial hair? Hair that slowly progresses to grow out of certain areas on your face.

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1,000 americans jump off a plane. They all die as a result of not having parachutes.

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Why couldn't billy hear his mom on the phone? Because Billy is deaf.

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What do you say to a woman with two black eyes? Nothing, you've already taken her police statement and she doesn't want to discuss the incidentit anymore until her lawyer arrives.

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Q: Why is Rosie odonell fat? A: Because you are sexual attracted to small children.

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Why did the first Monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the second Monkey fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the first Monkey. Why did the bird fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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A man walks into a pet shop. He says to the shopkeeper, "Excuse me, do you have any dogs going cheap?" The shopkeeper replies "We feel that we price our animals reasonably, but the cheapest type of dog we have is £50." The man realises that, unfortunately, he cannot afford a dog so instead he purchases a goldfish. It wasn't the same.

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What did the fat man say to the other far man Hey your fat

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What was Jenna's favourite ice cream flavour? Keyword; was, she's dead now

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A black man is trapped inside a bottle, how does he get out? He doesn't it is simply impossible for a human to get trapped inside a bottle.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops