So a Jew is walking on the street and he sees a penny, and he decides to pick it up because ever since the fire that killed his family and burned his house down he has been living on the street and he needs all the help he can get.

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* pretend your an orphan Knock knock Who's there? Not your parents.

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Q: Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? A: Eating the apple.

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what lies in ore an develops a golden tan ken bigleys body

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Why did the Mexican fail his english test? Because he had studied for an inadequate amount of time and proceeded to fornicate with many women, also preventing him from sleeping for the advised 7-8 hours a night.

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What happened to the guy that got shot? He fell down

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whats do dinosaurs and people have in common? one of them is extinct.

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Dwarf Shortage

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What's red and green and goes 500 mph? A frog in a blender.

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Q: what did the emo girl use to check her email? A: A computer.

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Why are humans and squirrels the same? They both live in trees except for the human

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What do a rabbit and a plum have in common? -They're both purple except the rabbit.

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Why did Dracula cross the road? To get to the other unbitten virgin.

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Q. What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in front of a door? A. Matt

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what did the dog say to the cat? nothing cause animals dont talk.

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Caramel Boing.

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What did the cat say to the rabbit? Nothing, cats are incapable of human speech as far as scientists are concerned. Also, the mouse was having a bad day. Rutabaga.

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Watch me whip, watch me nae nae

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roses are red violets are blue grass is green

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A cat jumped into a swimming pool It drowned and was cremated.

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Why couldn't the man sleep? Because he was a wax model in a museum, and as we all know wax models are inanimate objects thus incapable of consciousness and therefore incapable of unconsciousness as well. Many other inanimate objects are caught up in similar problems relating to their incapability to do anything.

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Why do women live longer? Once they're sexual and metabolistic hormones are moleculy different from men's, their metabolism is different and act on different organs and vice-versa. Therefore, they live longer. Still, in a worldwide average, more men born than women.

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A teacher, a lawyer, and a doctor are all at the edge of the cliff. Then they jump off and die.

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Why did the little boy rush downstairs to the living room on Christmas morning? because he heard his mother screaming rape.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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