What did the tramp get for Christmas? Nothing because he's Jewish.

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Q. Where do all funny jokes come from? A. The people who made them up

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Three Kids dressed as a bear, a chicken, and a penguin walk into a bar. The bartender asks the to leave as they are all under the legal drinking age.

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Yo momma is so fat that....actually she's quite fit and i'd love to take her out on a date.

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What do you call a fat, ugly kid? An unloved child.

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Why did the mailman deliver the wrong mail to people's houses? He's a bad mailman.

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a man walks into a bar. ouch. that must suck, but he should really look where he's going

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How many Jehovah's Witnesses does it take to screw in a light bulb? 2. One to firmly hold the ladder and the other to cautiously screw it in. They are volunteering at the local orphanage and it is wrong to make fun of there religion. We are all different in our own special way. ernkso

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What did Helen Keller say? Obcojbcidjbcidjbdijcbd

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Why did the man fall off his bike? Because he wasn't on a bike.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She was dead

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I was going to type an anti-joke but I totally forgot how it starts. It goes something like something something something something something your mom's a whore.

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Why did the father leave work early on his son's birthday? He was rushed to the hospital after facing a severe heart attack due to a history of cardiovascular disease in his family.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I was diagnosed as criminally insane Wanna be my friend?

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When Chuck Norris does a push up, he's working out.

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How can you get an asian kid to flunk a class? You can't.

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Why couldn't the little seven year old girl paint her finger nails? She fell in front of a train.

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To the 'am i pregnant now?'-section: Yesterday I spilled mustard on my brand new pants. That was just before I went out to some clubs. That night, after I had enjoyed myself with friends and alcohol, while I was walking home I was raped several times by big, black and hung men. It hurt a lot and my anus is still bleeding. My question is: What is the best way to get rid of the mustard stain?

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The man goes to the doctor after just losing his job because his company went under because of the econmic crisis. His house is being foreclosed because without the money from his job he can't afford to pay for his house. His girlfriend also just left him because of recent conflicts about money and she was looking forward to having a family and with him jobless it was just out of the question. Man:"Doctor I could really use some good news" Doctor:"You have aids"

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whats long and black? a baton

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A man walks up to you and asks you:"What's funnier than a dead baby?" and then smiles, you then proceed to frown and tell him he needs to seek help. The next day you see his face on your TV

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What do you say to somebody that wont shut up Shut up!!!!

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My trip to Italia: Italian most: WELCOME TO ITAAAAAAALIA! YOU WANT THE PIZZA YES? Me asking my then Italian girlfriend: Are all Italians so loud? Then girlfriend: Yeah kinda... Her brother overhearing us: WHO! GAVE! YOU THE BALLS! TO JUDGE US! Me: Uh I am just surprised at... Her bro: I SAID WHO GAVE YOU THE BALLS... DONT LOOK AT ME! Me: *looking down at the ground somewhat ashamed* bro: LOOK AT ME WHEN I SPEAK TO YOU! NO! DONT LOOK AT ME! I will let you go for this time yes? Next time I will take you outside and beat you up okay? LOOK AT ME WHEN I SPEAK TO YOU! AND DO NOT LOOK AT ME! Conclusion: Wow you Italians are bad ass... I mean hell this is was a real life experience of mine, I was just a teen back then but I got a headache and threw up ending up in bed later... Fact: I am nearly two meters but walk with a hunch, the guy was half my size but still broke me down, wow Italians are bad ass...

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What is black, white and red all over? Something that pertains those characteristics

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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