Panda walks into a restaurant with gun ready to eat, shoot and leave to finish a really good grammar joke, but before he can eat, Animal Control tranquilize him and seize his gun. So all he can do is leave unconscious. Meanwhile someone takes enjoyment in slowly burning the dictionary entry for "Panda".

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How do you make a baby crawl in circles? Nail its hand to the ground

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what do you say to your girlfriend just after the best sex you ever had? I really got great value for money tonight with my prostitute sweety. You should have been there

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Why did the chicken cross the road? like most animals that wander onto the road, it was completely unaware that the road can be very dangerous. It didn't go onto the road on purpose, it simply treated the road as if it was just like the rest of the ground.

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Continents are large islands.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I am a gardener

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What did the grizzly bears have for lunch? Fish and tourists.

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whos best at KS3 irish and is sexy? tiarnan i lied about the sexy part

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A man goes to the doctor's office. The doctor says, "I have some bad news, and some worse news. The bad news is you have alzheimer's. The worse news is you have cancer." The man breaks down in tears, realizing that his life as he knew it is over, and recognizing the horrible burden he is about to become on his family, both financially and emotionally.

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Yamum is so poor that she has trouble supporting herself and paying her own bills. Subsiqeunetly she had her electricity and home phone cut off, not that she would have any use for a home phone with her electricity cut off anyway. She sits on her bed and cries herself to sleep each night and has been thrown into depression due to her spiraling financial debts of which she can see no end to. This has led to several attempts to take her own life to hopefully finally find a way out of her misery and debt.

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If Tigger was a black panther Christopher Robin would have named him Nigger.

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Why did the fat guy pick up a noodle from the floor with his buttcheeks? He felt like pasta.

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What's the worst subject in school? None of them. You need school to get by in life. Get over it.

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How do you blindfold a Chinese man? With a blindfold.

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You know what's real bullshit? That stuff that comes out of a bull's ass.

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whats the difference between a black guy and a park bench? well a park bench is an inanimate object that people use to sit on and feed the birds at the park. and a black guy is a living being who is looked down upon in society.

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What do u call something that's sticky and in a stick form? A glue stick :)

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Why did Jimmy drop his ice cream? Because he was hit by a bus Knock Knock Who's there? Not Jimmy -thatcooltyguy

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it is an animal without a high enough level of intelligence to see the dangers in doing so.

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Q: Wgat do you call a black man's dead bodie? A: A corpse.

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9/11

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A man died in a sky-diving accident. What was the last thing that went through his mind before he died? His feet

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A blonde walked into a hair salon. She got her hair dyed black, as she is sick and tired of jokes that scrutinize those with blonde hair.

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Whats red and tastes like parsley? Not Red Parsley

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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