how do you stop a baby from crying? Slit its throat

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- Knock knock. - Who's there? - Jehovah - Jehovah who? - Jehovah's Witness - Go f*** yourself.

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Q: What did the cop do when he saw a mexican in his car? A: Nothing, he was looking in a mirror.

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Yo mama's so fat that they have to grease the door frame and hold a twinky on the other side to get her through.

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Little Jack Horner sat in a corner, Dead.

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Why did the girl miss her date? She got killed.

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Roses are red violets are red bushes are red oh shit my garden is on fire

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Haikus usually make sense, but sometimes they don't refrigerator.

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5 black men walk into a 7-11 at midnight. They clog the all of the toilets in the mens bathroom causing them to over run.

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Someone just commented on my joke! ... oh wait it was myself

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I like my women how I like my coffee; without a penis.

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did you know helen keller had a dog? neither did she....

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Persond A: A guy blows himself and his family up with a hand grenade Person B: HEY!!! Thats not funny thats how my family died

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What is better than winning a gold medal at the parolympic games? Having two legs!

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What do you call a Mexican guy in America? A Mexican American

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What do you call a blind guy in a library? Kevin. Unless his name isn't Kevin.

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Three men were lost in a desert when a genie appeared and granted them each a wish. they died of dehydration shortly afterward, never realizing they were hallucinating.

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Q: How do you confuse a blond A: You don't they are born that way

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Whats green and has wings? grass, I lied about the wings.

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Why did the boy fall off the bike? Because he was a paraplegic.

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Why didn't little Timmy see the bus right before it hit him? Because he was blind

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A guy walks into a bar. He meets a girl and they have a great time. He calls her the next day and their relationship continues for many months. Eventually they get married and have children.

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Three explorers are walking through the jungle when they are suddenly captured by a group of cannibals, the cannibals, going through years of culture and hereditary custom, kill the explorers, skin their bodies, chop them to pieces and cook their flesh, finally they eat it giving them a prosperous feast while the rest of the world is unaware of whatever happened in that jungle.

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A man comes home after a long days work. It is late at night and he gets in bed with his wife who is already asleep. Later that night he gets up for a glass of water and returns to the bed room to see that his wife doesn't appear to be breathing and calls 911. He then realizes that this isn't his house and he leaves.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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