How many licks does it take to get to the center of a lollipop? 782

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nobody move! I've dropped my brain.

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penis. nuff said.

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(Pretend you're an orphan.) Knock knock. Who's there? Not your parents.

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what are you mike bibby?

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My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard. I guess I make a good milkshake.

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took my chevy to the levy but the levy was dry

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Did you hear about the man hear about the man who lost an arm and a leg in a car accident? He's alright now.

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A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

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why was six afraid of seven? because seven had a huge ass mole

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Have you heard of the dog that sounds like Megan fox? No Oh, well ummm apperantally there's this ummm dog that sounds like Megan fox. So ummm yeah. Pretty interesting stuff

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Person1: Man I had the worst day ever. Person2: Worser than the holocaust.

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Why did the girl have an abortion? Because she wanted a burger.

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your mother is so heavily obese, she became one of the 60 million individuals in America who are obese today.

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If you're happy and you know it get a life

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What's worse than the holocaust? Finding half a worm in your apple.

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What did the fish say to the Asain man Nothing. a fish can not talk

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What do you call a purple apple? Bruised.

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Which ballet do pigs like best? Pigs don't understand ballet, but they probably like the ones with audience participation, as they are friendly animals and enjoy interacting with humans.

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A Mexican man walks into a bar, the bartender asks "haven't you got a damaged liver?" The Mexican replies "haven't you got a job to do?" The Mexican died 2 seconds later

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Knock knock! Go away. I'm busy masturbating, and it would be extremely awkward if you were to entire my residence at this time. Please return at a later hour.

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Yep, super duper stressed, all of the time, but how did you know?

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Q: A giraffe fell in a hole and died. Which was taller the Lion or Giraffe? A: The Giraffe was before it died

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A horse walks into a bar, the bartender says, "why the long face" and the horse says "my wife just died of skin cancer."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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