Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because he was forced, along with thousands of his poultry counterparts, on a march to meet their imminent death at a mass slaughterhouse. Upon being beheaded and processed, the meaty corpse was delivered to a local grocery store and cooked into a wholesome family dinner.

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A man walks into a bar the bartender looks at the man and says "Hey son you wanna make one hundred bucks?" the man looks at the bartender and says "Im not your son."

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What did one muffin say to the other Muffin? Nothing, muffins have no method of communication in any way shape or form

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What do u call a man who sells hot dogs on the street? A Mexican

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Q: John gets attacked with a chainsaw, how many stitches does he get? A: None, Hes dead jim

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs going down a mountain? A: As good as dead.

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What do you call a white guy in a mostly black neighborhood? His name.

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Chose to describe yourself: Green thumb: Tall wealthy, good looking, intelligent man with a model wife, a ferrari expensivo, a hotel just for yourself. Red thumb: A below average piece of shit? Green thumb? Dont lie to me you piece of sh*t!

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Hey, I just met you, And this is crazy. But I have Alzheimer's... Hey, I just met you...

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roses are red, violets are red, ive been shot in the eye with a pelet gun, please ,please help

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The song Barbra Streisand has more than 2 words.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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What's the difference between a pizza and a baby? I don't stab pizza 47 times in the chest with a chainsaw.

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NO IT IS MINE! ALL MINE!

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how do you keep an idiot in suspense. I dont' know he still hasn't told me

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Why did Jonathan choose to watch something else other than Geordie Shore? Jonathan is intellectual.

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Obama lin Baden.

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Why did the 60 y/o man take erectile dysfunction pills? His doctor prescribed them.

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why was the teenage girl crying? She was molested as a child

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Why is Michael J. Fox so go at dance? Because he took lesson as a child

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A: Knock Knock B: Who's There? Person B came down with a serious case of amnesia that day and can't remember who anyone is.

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How do spell____? awk moment when u try asking someone how to spell something over text but they have no idea what ur saying

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What is wrong with being a black Jew? You have to sit in the back of the oven.

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When life gives you lemons you are like "how did I get these lemons?"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops