- Anti Joke

Why can't hank swim? Hank is a rock.

Optimist: The glass is half full. Pessimist: The glass is half empty. Realist: Find something better to do than talk about a glass.

Knock knock. Who's there? IRS. Youre being audited, Sir.

Rsoes are geern Voielts are ornage I'm colorbilnd and Dixlesic.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Knock knock. Who's there? THE CHICKEN!

How do you stop R Kelly from peeing on little girls? Kill all little girls.

What do you call a blonde person? By her name.

Ahmed walks into Abbar. He apologized and they both continued about their jobs as sales assistants at Pottery Barn.

When life hands you melons it means you're dyslexic.

Why did the janitor commit suicide? He was sick of people's shit.

what did the stop sign say to the car? nothing.

What is black and white and red all over? A nun that just fell down the stairs.

how many terminaly ill 5 year old cancer patients does it take to burn to supply enough energy to make toast just 4.5 :)

what's worse than than finding a worm up your ass? Death

roses are red, violets are blue, I have schizophrenia, which is a serious mental disorder in which I have difficulty properly experiencing reality. It should not be confused with multiple personality disorder, which is a completely different disease with different symptoms.

"So, what do you fancy doing tonight?" "Does it matter? We'll end up doing what you want anyway..."

A termite walks intio a bar, looks the lovely timber bar up and down, and wonders out loud..."where's the bar tender?"

How many rats does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two. But they have to be really small.

what's the funniest joke? wish i knew

What's the difference a black person and a park bench? A park bench is a object and a black person is human.

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Whats funnier than 24 ? 25

Two penguins sitting in a bath tub. One says, "Pass the soap." The other says, "What do you think I am, a clock!?!?"

What does a penguins wear on it's feet? Nothing penguins are incapable of wearing foot wear, also they do not have feet they are called 'flippers'.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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