Dave: Knock, knock Steven: Come in.

what did batman say to robin before they got in the car get in the car

Why didn't the kid eat lunch at school? He wasn't hungry.

How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop? Go ask your mom.

What has nine arms and sucks? Four children with two arms snacking on a lollipop, and one child with one arm snacking on a lollipop.

What's worse than the Holocaust? Biting into an orange and finding Helen Kellar

Roses are stools, Violets are bums, sugar is knit, thank you, LSD.

A muslim man takes a flight to New York. He lands safely at JFK airport.

roses are red violets are blue i have Alzheimers but at least i do not have Alzheimers

How do you kill a blonde? You wait until she dies of old age, then copyright her death.

Why did the cow say moo? Cows can't say anything they actually make noises that humans interpreted as "moo"

A Matthew walks into a room. Everyone left. This is not a joke

Manchester City

Q: Human being? A: False. Jew.

My friend just phoned me from the Boston marathon. He was being taken to the hospital due to being injured by the explosions and had to have his leg amputated.

friends are like snowflakes. if you piss on them they go away

Why was the girl running out of the school? Because her principal was trying to rape her.

what do you call cheese that isn't yours? not your cheese, you probably stole it.

Oh because you have Lou Gehrigs Disease

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I suck at poems, wanna f***.

A baby seal walks into a club. He immediately escorted out because babies are not allowed in clubs.

Why lets go Mets? Lets go Yankees!

What do you call a black man flying a plane. A pilot.

What is white, average height and cannot jump as high as a black man? A fridge.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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