What did the little Jew boy get for Christmas? nothing he is a Jew, he doesn't celebrate Christmas.

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What's worse than a worm in your apple That one time I rapped and killed your mom, oh and happy birthday prick

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What caused the man to become blind? He took an arrow to the knee.

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Why did Hitler commit suicide? Because he was completely depressed and overwhelmed because of the fact that he had lost World War II.

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How do you get five black men in a car? You offer them a good deal, then show them the car fax.

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Who didnt visit the orphanage this year? Mom...

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What do you call a man with no arms and legs, lying outside of your house? An ambulance, he's clearly in trouble.

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Elise's parents have four children. The first's name is April, the second's name is May, the third's name is June. What's the fourth children's name ? July. Elise is adopted, and thus does not count.

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What did the farmer say when his cow got stuck in a tree? Nothing, it didn't get stuck in the first place because cows are incapable of climbing trees.

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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What has 389,236,587 arms, has rainbow colored fur, and fornicates on your front lawn? Absolutely nothing. That's pretty much physically impossible.

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Why doesn't Batman exist? Because he was made up.

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What is the different between going to church and reading a newspaper? You can take your shoes off when you read a newspaper.

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I've got 99 problems and they're all stressing me out and causing me to be very unhappy.

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Why did the man punch NUGE in the face? Because he got angry that NUGE was being such a BA person and he was jealous of NUGE'S style and he just got dumped by his ugly as poop mom which was eating Anti Chicken.

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Why did the blind man get hit by a bus? Because his seeing-eye dog was distracted by a squirrel and ran off, leaving the man in the middle of the cross-walk in heavy traffic.

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So there is the standard english class with groups of different people. You got the nerds, lads, violent ones etc. Now the kids are doing a standard pop quiz. The nerd is next to the violent kid. The violent kid asks the teacher if he can go to the toilet. Everyone is nervous as it was based from last year's work which they haven't studied for. He then stabs the nerd in the neck multiple times and finishes his test.

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What is black white and red all over A tree in black, white, and red paint.

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What's the difference between an elephant and a grape? They're both fruit. Except the elephant.

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There's a black guy, a yellow guy, and a white guy. Which one survives? All of them do. See. I'm not racist!

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what smells like diarrhea and looks like diarrhea? diarrhea stupid

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Why did the student fail his test? Because he has AIDS darragh hamilton

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Roses are red Violets are blue ... Uhhhh I don't think anyone knows the rest of this!!!!!!

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What do you get when a sister and a brother have sex? A deformed child.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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