Roses are shut the f*** up. Violets are shut the f*** up. Shut the f*** up. Shut the f*** up.

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What is long, hard, and full of seamen? a school bus, if you consider children to be seamen

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Why did little Sammy die of boredom? The WNBA was on

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What's worse than getting murdered? Getting murdered twice? - Louis

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A man cooks dinner almost every night even though his wife is the better cook, and the man is in charge of the household. Why? Because the man isnt a sexist douchebag.

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Q: What do you get when you throw a piece of bread in the oven? A: 6 million Jews

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Why do black people like fried chicken? Because it tastes good.

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What did the apple say to the grape? Nothing, fruit are incapable of speaking

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What did the little kid say to the stranger? Nothing. He was taught not to talk to strangers.

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roses are red violets are blue do i care? no.

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Theres an irishman , scottish man and a welsh man on a plane they where going to france

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Knock Knock! Who's there? ... THE DOOR!!

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Teacher- Pick the odd one out- Man, whale, bat, squirrel, frog Student- Whale. All others are found in Nebraska

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? I do not know because it depends on the woodchuck; however, if some statistical evidence is gathered on the average amount of wood a woodchuck could chuck you most likely would get a close answer, considering that the statistical research was not flawed.

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whats the similarities between an xbox and michael jackson? there both made of plastic and they both get turned on by children

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Did you know that Obama wasn't born in the United States*? *the contiguous United States

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A sad guy walks in to a bar and the bartender asks, what's the matter? The guy responds, I just found out i'm deaf

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Roses are red, violets are blue, i suck a poetry now show me your tits!!!

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what did Tim do when he got married? He kissed the bride Mecheoo LOVES ASS

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what is red and bad for your teeth? a brick

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What did the blind man say to his wife? -would you mind helping me upstairs, for I cannot see.

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life is like a rapist. sometimes they're nice other times, they ram you in the ass.

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People are like trees. When hit multiple times with an ax they fall down.

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What did the german speech therapist say to his mute patient? There a few methods we can use to help you obtain the power of speech.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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