a guy walks into a bar. he buys several drinks, ends up drunk, and crashes into a coffee shop with a goat in the backseat.

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What is a waste of time and money? Your mother.

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Q: What do you call a dog with metal balls and two-inch legs? A: Animatronic

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A man travels to the park, and kills a person, throws them in a bag and runs away. He then travels to the grocery store, kills 2 people, throws them in a bag and walks away. He then travels to the gas station, kills 3 people and walks away. He keeps traveling around killing people until he has claimed 69 victims in all. From this, we can infer that he was a psychotic murderer with a perverted sense of humor.

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why was the fork in the wall? Why would a fork be in a wall?

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Whats gay and smells like paint? A gay man covered in paint.

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roses are green violets are green i was drunk last night

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Q: Whats black and green and goes 100 mph? A: A black and white car going 100 mph.

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What's just not right? Left

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Why did Billy die? His mother killed him.

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whats worse than 10 dead babies in a bucket 5 are alive and eating the others

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Doctor. Doctor Who? It's Doctor Green. I've got some bad news about your test results. Can I come in?

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A man is sleeping and is woken up. What does he say? Why did you wake me up

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I went to school. Then I came home.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Your landlord your being evicted we need you out in 2 weeks.

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Roses are gray, Violets are gray, I'm colourblind.

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What happens when you ask a blind guy to drive you somewhere? What happens if you ask a blind guy to drive? You will end up in a four way accident with 8 people dead 2 of which children and 1 baby. You might survive but the blind guy won't so you will have to go to court for him on the issue. You realize that you are terrible when it comes to the law and you get yourself thrown in jail for 2 years. When you get out you are so tired of getting butt raped that you go out and do it to someone else. Then you go back to jail an the process repeats it's self because this is the American justice system. We could work on it a little bit. But yeah, don't ask a blind guy to drive, your butt says thanks.

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Q: what do you call a boy with no arms and an eye patch? A: names

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A man in a wheelchair walked into a bar. No he didn't.

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Knock Knock Who's there? My foot. My foot who? My foot in your ass.

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What's the difference between a dead baby and a tire iron? I've never forcibly expelled three tire irons from my vagina.

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Mommy, why did daddy leave? Because you touch yourself at night sweetie.

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Why couldn't Mary see the painting? Because she had no face.

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what has 4 legs three eyes and a horn? a:yo mama

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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