What did the bad boy get for Christmas? Incurable cancer.

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How does micheal Jackson know when it's bed time? When the big hand touches the little hand.

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Why did th chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. Why did the cupboard cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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How do you make an emo kid cry? He already is.

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What do you call a pig that does karate? By its name. Pigs are often referred to by something regarding the 'Oink' sound that they make. Perhaps in this instance, the pigs name was Oinky. However, this is only a supposition. The range of names is really too wide to make a fair prediction.

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How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two, but the real question is why there are two flies having sex inside a light bulb.

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A man found out that he had hit the lottery and would be receiving 300 million dollars, but he had to fly to china to do so. The man took a plane to China from New York and would arrive within the next several hours. Meanwhile, in australia a god-cow was producing infinitely large amounts of concentrated milk. His milk was so infinitely large in mass that it collapsed on its own mass and turned into black hole; absorbing the entire Earth. The man never got to receive his money from winning the lottery

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what happened when the shoe turned into a shoe.......... nothing, it was a raisin

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Knock knock? Who's there? Why don't you answer the damn door and find out for yourself?

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Why did god make women? Because women are equally important when it comes to the birth to maintain or species.

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joe galasso from plainview ny

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7,7,7,7,7,7,7,7,7,7,7,7,7,8

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What's worse than having you're leg fall asleep? Getting Polio

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Knock knock Fuck off!

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So, what happens when Germany attacks France? France proceeds to slaughter the attackers mercilessly, as it was during the Feudal Ages, a time when France was Europe's superpower.

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What did the hobo get for Christmas? Hypothermia

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A Jew was walking home one night when two thugs leapt out of the darkness and demanded his money and other possessions at gunpoint. A reflection of how dangerous our streets can be at night.

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A friend of mine said; the only vegetables that makes you cry are oignons. that was before I hit him with a watermelon

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Nero, I can barely stay awake, can we chat more later today though? I would really enjoy that, and sleep before that.

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What did the rug say to the floor? I got you covered

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“DTF”? Says Will. “No” says Harper.

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My Nan, that is all.

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Knock Knock Who's there? After no response, the man chuckled as he realized the sound of his TV mimicked that of his door knocker.

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What does a black man and a monkey have in common? Until February 3rd 1870 neither could vote in America. Monkeys still can't. 

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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