Aww Eliza, thanks for being around in spirit, dont leave yet, I am kinda having breathing problems, and Alice says my something levels are dropping because I need solid food, please dont leave, I cant tell time even with a watch, but would you mind waiting a bit? Ill eat fast, somehow.

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CAUSE IT'S ONE, TWO, THREE STRIKES YOU'RE OUT

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Did You Hear About That Mexican Who Went To College? no. Well plenty of them go to college every day. thats good to know.

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The man who invented the teleprompter has died at the age of 91. When President Obama heard the news, he was speechless.

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It's not ok to have intercourse with a woman who say's "No!" But what about "Let go of me!"?

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Your Mom

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Q: What do you call a colour blind person that smells like green paint? A: A painter

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That awkward moment when... Your mom is a guy.

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why did the boy stay home from school? it was saturday

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? because it was dead. why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? because it was stapled to the first monkey? why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? peer pressure.

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What did the one Brick say to the other Brick? We have the same name.

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This guys grandma comes to live with him. While shes there she has a stroke. He rushes her to the hospital and waits for her to come out of surgery. The doctor comes out and says "i got good news and bad news" The guy says " give me the bad news" the doctor says "your grandma has had a massive stroke and wont be able to go to the bathroom by herself or eat by herself, so you'll have to feed her baby food and change her Diaper for the rest of her life." So then the guy goes " well crap whats the good news" The doctor goes "Ahh im just kidding she died"

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Every time im sad, I think of a T-Rex trying to put on a hat.

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Why the kid fall of his bike? He got hit by a fridge.

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A grasshopper walks into a bar and no one notices because it's just a little insect.

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Why did little polly fall off her her roof? Because she saw a ice-cream van

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My title of old was Satan. You humans killed my brother, ending God the holy trinity`s stay on earth, the Gods Omega. Moral: And yet you call ME? THE ANTICHRIST?!? I OFFERED HIM WATER! YOU OFFERED HIM TORTURE AND DEATH!

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A man is unemployed, ugly, short, fat, smelly and stupid. That's what she said.

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How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Make hurtful and upsetting remarks about her person.

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I have a really funny joke.

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A bar walks into a man... Wait, that's impossible.

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RECTUM? Damn near spelled "Wrecked Him" the wrong way!

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what do all black jokes start with (look left look right)

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What's brown and sticky? Feces.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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