Q: what do you call a boy with no arms and an eye patch? A: names

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A man in a wheelchair walked into a bar. No he didn't.

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Knock Knock Who's there? My foot. My foot who? My foot in your ass.

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What's the difference between a dead baby and a tire iron? I've never forcibly expelled three tire irons from my vagina.

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Mommy, why did daddy leave? Because you touch yourself at night sweetie.

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Why couldn't Mary see the painting? Because she had no face.

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Why did the black man sleep all day? He suffered from narcolepsy.

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Help! I've fallen and I can't get up.

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What is grey and transparent? An elephant in a zip-lock bag.

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what has 4 legs three eyes and a horn? a:yo mama

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Why couldn't the mother make her son's funeral? She died in a car crash on the way there.

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See now, that is because you consider yourself my submissive on a both concious and subconcious level, your body and mind wants me to take care of you. I could say it is because I read minds, but why read minds, when I can create them, why read the future, when you can create it. Finally, lets take a look into the word, nerve endings yes? Not nerve endings baby, its called Suggestion. But seriously though, lets put the word nerve endings on top of the word suggestions again there. Nerve endings, did I mention it works on your butt too? You see, usually you would say no, but you do know that now that I am your master, you do and enjoy as I say? See you baby. Moral: "Feel the grove, I control the way you move"

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why can't Michael Jackson bake a pie???? Because he's dead

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Q-What did the blonde say when I stomped on her toe? A: asdfsdflsdrfjkofweønaweøiofioawef, .Would you be ever so kind to move your foot as it is currently in a position of where it causes my nerves to send pain impulses to my brain. Thanks

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whats worse than loseing your dog? getting raped by a clown.

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How many Woman does it take to change a lightbulb? none they had a back up lamp

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What fruit is used to make apple juice? Apples

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A jew walk's into a bar. But actually it was a Gas chamber.

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A new scientific study has scientists baffled as it clearly shows that teen sex drastically decreases at age 20.

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Why did the duck turn black? an oil spill

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What do you call a lot of goose in one place? geese

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Two black guys were walking down a street to meet up a local drug dealer. Turns out the black guys were undercover cops who arrested the drug dealer and both recieved awards for finding the criminal.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 had two penises.

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yo moma so stupid she went to the dentist for a bluetooth.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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