Q: What said the first bagel to the other? A: Nothing! Bagels can't talk!

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Why can't Jeff drive a car? because he is a rock.

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What's the most confusing day in the ghetto? Fathers day.

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What do you call a guy with no arms or legs laying on your driveway? You call him by his name

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What's worse than a work in your apple? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Seeing the same joke repeated thousands of times on anti-joke.com.

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What do you put your key on? A key chain.

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Why didn't the lttle boy fasten his seatbelt? It doesn't matter, it's too late now.

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What do you call a blonde that just got hit by a school bus? Dead.

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Your mmma is so stupid when we said the drinks were in the house. She went looking for them!

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what do you get when you cross a puma and a turkey? A horrible abomination of life that begs to be killed.

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Someone just commented on my joke! ... oh wait it was myself

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What's pink and fluffy? Pink fluff.

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Whats worse than a dead baby? Two dead babys.

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Q: How do you confuse a blond A: You don't they are born that way

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Why are you gay? Because ***** you

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? she had no arms Knock Knock Who's There not the girl

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What did the one battery say to the other? Nothing. Batteries can't talk.

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Why did the black kid die? He had cancer.

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John walked up to his dad one morning and shouted, "Dad, it's my birthday!" Dad said, "Cool, how old are you?" John says, "I'm seven!" Dad tells him to go downstairs and tell his grandpa. John runs down and says, "Grandpa, it's my birthday, guess how old I am!" Grandpa sticks his hand in John's pants and sticks his thumb into his anus. As he pulls his hand out, he pinches his penis. Grandpa says, "You're seven." John says, "How did you know?" Grandpa says, "I heard you tell your dad upstairs."

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One day, while a blonde was out driving her car, she ran into a truck. The truck's driver made her pull over into a parking lot and get out of the car. He took a piece of chalk and drew a circle on the pavement. He told her to stand in the middle and not leave the circle. Furious, he went over to her car and slashed the tires. The blonde got angry and called the cops, who proceeded to come and arrest him.

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Whats the difference between a bottle of coke and a black man stuck in a phone booth? one of them is comparing himself to a bottle of coke, the other is a bottle of pepsi

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Q: Whats about two feet in width and length with purple veins throbbing at the sides? A: A midget slowly dying of frostbite

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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