Once upon a time there was a man that was exercising and he pulled a muscle and had to have his arm removed. The end.

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why is 6 afraid of 7 because seven is black

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one day a boy asked a Manican if it had a pulse it didn't

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What do you get when you cross the ocean with a dinosaur? Wet.

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What do you get when a person and a cat try to have a child of some sort? Nothing because there chromosomes don't match, and there for physically impossible.

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Q: Why did they bury the Indian? A: Because he was dead.

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What do you get when you put a woman in a room with 4 guys? She gets Gang Banged.

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YOU KNOW YOU'RE AS FAT AS JESSE WHEN... 1. The scales don't go up to the weight you weigh. 2. You know the true meaning of the word Plus-Size. 3. You can't see your feet without sitting down.

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Whats big, red and will cause severe injuries possibly fatalities if it falls out a tree? A phone box

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Roses are red Violets are blue Most poems rhyme This one doesn't

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If you can fit many clowns in a car and many mexicans in a car...how many mexican clowns will fit?

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Q: What's worse then 10 babies nailed to a tree? A: 1 baby nailed to 10 trees

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What's the easiest way to get a cat out of a tree? Call the fire department and allow them to safely reach the cat and properly extract it from the tree while you watch from below.

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why is lady gaga so famous? because she has a penis.

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A friend? Just a friend that you told to stop pretending to be me? And you had no idea whatsoever that I am Nero as in not one of the six hundred thousand wabbabes?

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How do you stop a dog from humping your leg? Suck its dick.

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Shut up, I already got that before you said it, typed it, whatever I do not give a fuck, I want the last word because, reasons of millions. I love you Nero come visit me sometime, wait ill come visit you, yes yes, but now shut up, I want the last word, because I made myself your bitch! You know its not what I mean the other way but then around again, I think, you are my I made myself your bitch, no wait, keep reading, you are, my bitch master..., pretty please let me have the last word? Never fucking mind! Have the last word, I surrender, I totally surrender I want my nose back XD.

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Obama stumbles upon a KKK meeting. All the klansmen shake his hand and respect him because he is the President.

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a man walks into a bar with a poodle stuffed halfway up his rectum... WHY ARE YOU WAITING FOR A PUNCHLINE!? MY GOD! THIS MAN HAS A DOG UP HIS ANUS!

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, This poem is getting old, I like cookies.

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Snake: YES muahaha Eve eat the fruit from the three of wisdom muahahaha! Why do you not share with Adam? Muahahaha! Snake: Why is nothing happening? Then the sky opened and a heavenly voice spoke: "Well as long as none eats fruit from the three of KNOWLEDGE... Hmm, I better get rid of it altogether..." Snake: FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!

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Jack and Jill went up the hill to get some exercise. They were getting terribly overweight.

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What can a Giraffe have, that no other animal on Earth can? A baby Giraffe.

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A piece of wood walks into a bonfire. Wood can't walk.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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