What did the man with one eye say to the woman with one leg at 2 p.m? Good afternoon.

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You know whats worse than an anti-joke? Practically Anything.

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A squirrel walks up to a tree and says: "I forgot to store nuts for winter, now i am dead."

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Why was Jimmy so bad at jumping rope? His father's car ran over an IED back in 2009. Jimmy had lost his legs in a tragic explosion.

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Haikus are easy But they often dont make sense flying flamingos

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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How did the chewy cross the road ? it was stuck to the chickens foot.

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What did the pirate say to the ninja? I have aids.

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Q:Why did the boy drop his ice-cream? A: Because he got hit by a bus.

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An under aged girl walks into a bar. She couldn't have done so without a fake ID and early development.

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What do you get if you put a lepper in front of a fan A mess

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What happened when the chicken crossed the road? It entered a KFC and had the unfortunate suprise of having its head cut off.

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Q: What do they call watermelons in Indiana A:watermelons

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Why do black people like fried chicken?? Because it was fried

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. The chicken was booted into the air by a screaming Russian osselot.

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A man went to the doctor and told him he was having the strangest dream. "First I was a tee pee Then I was a wigwam A tee pee, a wigwam. Do you have any idea what could be wrong?" The doctor looked at the man and said "You have aids."

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Why was the blonde on the train tracks? Because she was tied up by a madman on crack.

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What's the difference between a dead baby and an orange? One is a deceased human infant and the other is a delicious citrus fruit.

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Two kids walk into a bar and get arrested for underage drinking.

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I see London, I see France. Wow! This high-speed train that travels across Europe is amazing!

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What does a grandmas vagina taste like? I don't know -- nor do I want to.

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What did goldilocks say to the three bears? she was savagely murdered before she could say anything.

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Why was the boy hanging from the ceiling? He was sad

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Your moms so fat she struggles to to everyday tasks

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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