What does Obama, the President of the United States of America see when he closes his eyes? His eyelids

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? No? Neither have they.

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What's white and can't climb a tree? A fridge

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"I see" said the blind man to the deaf man... On the phone

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How do you kill a blue elephant? Shoot it with a blue elephant gun. How do you kill a pink elephant? Hold it's nose until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

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Why was the interracial marriage unsuccessful? Because several social factors have challenged the couple as they live in a rural part of the South and interracial couples generally aren't as accepted in those areas as in progressive city centers.

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What's the difference between a paper towel and a crab cake? Ones a paper towel and ones a crab cake

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Whats the difference between a kangaroo and a kangeroot ? Ones a marsupial. The others a Geordie stuck in a lift.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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A man walks into a bar and sees a depressed looking giraffe. The man says, “Why the long neck?” The giraffe responds, “That’s not the expression.”

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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Why do blind people laugh at this joke? Because they can't read it and everyone else is laughing.

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dark humor is like food... not everyone gets it

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Why did Sally fall off the swings? Because she had no arms Knock Knock Who's there? Not sally

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Your momma's so fat, people make jokes about her.

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Did you hear the joke about Helen Keller? She's dead.

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Chuck Norris can get a nuke in Black Ops.

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What do a baby and a slinky have in common? They both bring a smile to your face when you push then down a flight of stairs.

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Why is five afraid of six? Because six seven eight. (Note: The language of numbers is Subject-Object-Verb, rather than Subject-Verb-Object like English.)

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A young blind boy is being tucked into bed by his mother. The mom says "Now Billy, pray really hard tonight and tomorrow, your wish will come true!". Billy says, "Ok mommy." and goes to sleep. The next morning, Billy wakes up and screams "MOMMY! I'm still blind, my wish didn't come true!", the mom answered, "I know - April Fools!"

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Why was there no girl on the swing set? She decided to get off of the swings.

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Why do zebras have stripes? I don't know.

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every time I stay in the water too long my pp gets all shriverly sometimes can't find it omg that's so weird

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Why did the chicken cross the road. Because the grocery store only sold pork

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops