it was christmas and the kid waited all night. finally santa came.....

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What is black and white and can't fit through a revolving door? A nun with a harpoon through her back.

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What starts with P and ends with O-R-N? Popcorn

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie roll tootsie pop?

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Why Did The Man Fall Off His Motorcycle? Because he hit a bus.

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Let me guess, you where really ready to Not not tell me that.

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what did the baby say to his mum? he sed bfirbvuirnvkjwmndckie

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why did the cow go to the theater? to see the new movies pick one and have a good time.

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Why was it really gross when the blonde dove into the swimming pool? Because the swimming pool was full of phlegm!

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Guess what Timmy got for Christmas, Nothing, Timmy has no parents, he's an orphan.

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What do you do when you see a half-dead black man on the floor? Call an ambulance before he bleeds out causing sepsis.

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I saw a number three walking past me in the street the other day and I thought to my self that's odd.

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i had a dream last night;) it was sad because you lived but then i dreamed up a bus and made it hit you. i had a dream last night;) you died

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Why do men not get cullulite? Because it's ugly.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? When he first entered the world, Chicken was a lonely bird. Nobody else liked him. Not even his mother. He was small and scrawny, and whenever the farmer came to feed the pigs or shear the sheep, he would get scared and hide in between two pieces of wood. One day Chicken woke up and his family was gone. Although they had never loved him, his heart was tender, and he was desperately concerned for them. After hours of searching for them, he overheard Cow speaking to Horse: "It's a tragedy, really. They were such a happy family. But now their off to the land of KFC, forever lost in the sea of chicken wings. But Chicken was determined to change his family's fate. He escaped the barn and ran into the woods. There he traveled day by day, and at night he hid from the hungry wolves. Life in the forest was tough, but no tougher than the loss of loved ones, so he kept going. On and on and on, until the forest ended and the city began. It was a new world to Chicken. He had never seen so many different buildings and contraptions. His eyes had never before held the wonder of the majesty of such a strange place. After traveling through the dangerous alleys of the city, he finally found it: the terrible land of KFC. The place where humans' dreams begin, but chickens' end. The place of horror and death and unfairness. The place that summarized Chicken's whole life. He was here now. The only thing separating him from his family was a road. A road that was so small compared to his previous trials, so incomprehensibly tiny when placed next to the gaping hole in his broken heart. So the chicken crossed the road. Then he got hit by a bus.

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Giant scorpions, red roses, adoption, the holocaust, bars, changing light bulbs, and fridges.

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Whats the difference between pizza and a Jewish person? Pizza doesnt scream when being put into an oven.

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Pooring urine into your eyes, is a natural way to cure pink eye. Found this out this morning.

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whats long and black on a black guy slavery

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Josh, this is your mother. I was wondering if you wanted me to bring my lube and strapon to bed tonight. Wait never mind about the strapon because i have my dick to use.

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Why did the woman leave the kitchen? She didn't, she's a woman.

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How do you wake up your grandmother........ You don't, she had a massive heart attack and died in her sleep

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What did the farmer say to the other farmer? "Uh... So, you're a farmer?"

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What does a blond do when she stops at a red light? She gets arrested.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops