What did the abortion clinic serve at the cafeteria? Fetus soup

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Praise Paisley

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Knock knock. Who's there? The Door! He then broke down into tears as the nightmares from his schizophrenia had lead to a severely crippled mental state.

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What do you say when you accidently punch a wasps nest? Nothing.The correct choice is ton run as fast as you can to avoid getting stung by the entire nest of wasps.

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rock-a-bye baby on the treetop When the wind blows The bass will drop!

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A black man goes to his dentist appointment and the doctor asks, have you brushed your teeth today laderius? the black man replies: Yes, but my name is not laderius

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9

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Did you here about the 2 guys who wanted to go to Paris? They didnt go!

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Why did Sally cry at the wedding? somebody shot her future husband.

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roses are red violets are blue i have no money could i have some

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What's black and white and red all over? A blood-soaked zebra

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What do you call a man with a shovel in his head? An ambulance.

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Why do women go to the bathroom together? To clean their filthy pussies.

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Q. Why doesn't a woman need a wrist watch? A. Because they're actually becoming generally obsolete with the advent of the cell phone.

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Why do girls enjoy listening to Justin Biebers music? Because he sings moderately well and appeals to a younger audience.

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how many members of the australian greens party does it take to write legislation? none, it's already been done for them by Karl Marx

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KONY 2012! *world rises up cheering in spontaneous patriotism for Africa* Leader of KONY 2012 arrested for public masturbation

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If i could re-arrange the alphabet i'd put my sausage in your oven

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what word starts with the letter N and ends with the letter R that you never wanna call a black person? Neighbor

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Q. What do you call a retarted guy? A. Whatever his name happens to be

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roses are brown violets are brown, who took a shit in my garden

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Three men walked into a bar the other one ducked. SI

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What do you get when a man farts then a giraffe digests the gas and then poops into the mouth of a rabid baby raccoon? A raisin coated in corn flakes with digestive fluid sauce.

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Yeah, "master hypnotists" (and do not even get me started on hypnotherapists, they completely suck!) keep claiming that you need to keep up to date with the "constantly developing art of hypnosis" The thing is though, that hypnosis does not develop itself, people develop it further, and when the key ingredient is actually believing things under a certain state, you can do anything, even slow the passage of time to a halt. Once I tried that, I was disappointed when I figured out that it did not work, so I went shopping (for groceries), then realized that no time had passed at all, sounds like bullshit, and yeah I wont be trying that again anytime soon, lucid dreaming is good enough, you can spend hours and hours in a lucid dream state, days, and then wake up and figure out you slept like two hours or something.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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