Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was a retarded failure

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What's sad about a guy jumping off a cliff? The cliff.

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Take one: "What kind of assho... Take two "What kind of awesome people with no dignit..." Take three: "What kind of awesome people with most dignified self image would use this piece of shit s... Final take What kind of awesome people with most dinified self image would use this RETARDED PIECE OF MOLTEN SHlT SITE FROM FUCKING HELL?" Moral: "Technically I do not use it, I abuse it just like I did your mom... Hey, I am your dad by the way, that gives me the right to rape you whenever I want" NeroMetal I once fisted a velociraptor to death (I do not mean punching it in the face here if you think thats something), but that's not metal... I cant for the fuck bother to find out how to spell the fucking dinosaurs name... Now that is metal...

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With all due respect, I do underestimate myself, there is not a single person I know that has not told me that, but if I wanted to, I would not even had to make the effort to have you removed, hell I had to pull favors and owe people things in order to keep you safe. I could have said the rest of you, but had I not known you, had you not been one of my co-workers back then, I would not have gone to the extremes that i did, you are beautiful, but what does that have to do with anything? Do you think that if I did not know you I would go "that one is sexy, release her?" Even if I did, I do not have authority, I work for them.

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what do you call a black guy with a nice car? most probably a rapper or professional athlete, however there is also a great chance that he is a doctor of philosophy and well educated.

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whats more embarissing rhan being raped by a squirel? Being a 40 year old virgin working at mcdonalds

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american idol

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What is the difference between 1 and 2? 2 is a higher number than 1.

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why do woman love the twilight books? i have no idea woman can't read

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Roses are red, Violets are glorious, Don't try to surprise Oscar Pistorius.

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A man travels to the park, and kills a person, throws them in a bag and runs away. He then travels to the grocery store, kills 2 people, throws them in a bag and walks away. He then travels to the gas station, kills 3 people and walks away. He keeps traveling around killing people until he has claimed 69 victims in all. From this, we can infer that he was a psychotic murderer with a perverted sense of humor.

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What did the doctor say to his patient? You have AIDS.

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Why wasn't the tractor moving? Because the farmer was killed in a drive-by shooting.

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Why did the white woman press charges against the black guy? Because he raped her

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Why was lil' Susie screaming horrifically? Nobody knows. That's why the neighbors called the cops. -Harrison

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Where did the paralytic go for a vacation? No where he can't move.

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Two jews walk into a bar. They drank beer and shot some pool and had a good time.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's a women.

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why did the squrill leave his home an ax-man cut it down

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Violets are blue Roses are red I stabbed you 37 times in the chest Now you're dead

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Why did the man with no arms fall of his bike? Someone threw a washing machine at him

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Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear, Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair... Fuzzy Wuzzy has cancer

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How do you put an elephant in a taxi? You open the door, make sure the elephant is seated confortably, and close the door.

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What happened to the little boy that went to The Penn State locker room? He had a great day meeting the team and watching the football game.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops