So a jelly bean walks into a bar. The bartender asks him "whatchuu doin here jelly bean" the jelly bean doesn't respond and sits there awkwardly because he neither speaks English nor has the brain capacity to move or breathe. The bartender closes the store and comes back the next day to find the bean in the same awkward position.

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Why didn't the Irishman walk into the bar? Beacause he had killed himself the previous night as a result of his alcoholism.

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roses are red violets are blue i had sex with your dog

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Haiku's aren't real poems. No body understands them. My soul is burned toast.

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If you know someone with the last name Schmidt. ALWAYS ask him to take a Schmidt on your chest

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kara is funny she loves her money so she buys a bunny for her honey

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Wait! hundred billions!

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Why didn't Sebastian get out of the forest? Because he got brutally murdered by a big bad wolf

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What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the user is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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What's Worse Than Falling Over? .......Rape.

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Why did the man eat the apple? He had just witnessed a cow butchering and decided to become a vegitarian the moment he got home. He now lives in 1st degree depression because of what he saw 2 hours ago.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Jeffery Dahmer. Oh, good, you're finally here!

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What were the muslims doing on the plane? Probably going somewhere that was too far to walk or drive.... just like everyone else on the plane.

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Hey, I just met you And this is scabies So I'm prescribing you some permethrin.

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whos gay and sits next to me? Griffen in my architecture class

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What do you call a black man at KFC? A customer.

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Why did they choose Madonna to perform in the halftime show? Because she might die soon.

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Humans and dolphins are the only species who have sex also for enjoyment.

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If you go to America, you won't see any fat black people. They're all dead and in prison.

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Q) How many boring people does it take to screw in a light bulb? A) One

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what did the boy with cancer want for christmas? a gun

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Cat ate a battery, did volts.

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Policeman: Knock, knock. Woman: Who's there? Policeman: The police. I'm afraid there's been an accident. Your husband has been killed.

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Adam: knock knock!! Eve: who's there? Adam: don't be silly, just open the f*cking door!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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