What is worse then your car getting hijacked? A 900 pound man eating a Donut.

A man walks into a bar, the bartender says had a bad day the man says yes... he orders 10 shots goes home and shoots his neighbors

A black man, an asian man, and white man walk into a bar. Not that out of the ordinary since America is a melting pot.

Q. What did the mockingbird say to the blue jay? A. I mock you by mocking you

A priest a rabbi and the dalai lama walk into a bar. They decided to order the hotwings...... Why do u care??? : )

What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? A= Were both lawyers! What happens every sixty seconds in the us? A= a minute passes!

Why are asians such bad drivers? Cause they constantly have their eyes closed.

Q:What happens when you mix Justin Bieber with a women? A: Well, since is a very highly impossible circumstance, I have no need to give a name for this.

How could Jamie not come out and play? His mum had cancer

How do you get a bent nail out of a board? You carefully pry it out with the back of the hammer.

What is funny about a cod swimming around alone in the ocean? Nothing, over-fishing is a huge problem in the modern day.

Why did the student have a staring contest with his teacher? Well, the teacher was actually unaware of the competition.

What do you call a black guy that flies a plane? A pilot.

how did helen keller's parents punish her? stuck a plunger in the toilet

A black guy walks into a bar with a dog. He is asked to leave because his dog is not on a lead.

What did one dolphin say to the other after watching a banana dance with an afro. My pancreas was replaced with a mango.

Why did David Hasselhoff talk to his car? Because it was KIT from knight Rider and had voice recognition software and so could understand him

Why did the car go down the road? Someone was driving it. Why did the car stop? Because he suddenly fell and had a stroke.

whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? having your titties super glued to a triceritops' as cheeks while the triceritops has chronic diahrea

A woman walks up to a man in a supermarket and asks him where she can find the potatos. He says "I think they are all the way at the end on aisle 3" "Thanks" she says. Then she gets to aisle 3, and there aint no potatos!!!!

Why is Finnish taxi driver smiling while driving? He's happy.

What's green and has wheels? Grass i was lying about the wheels.

Roses are Red Violets or Red Trees are Red HOLY SH*T MY GARDEN'S ON FIRE!

That awkward moment where all you want for Christmas is for your parents to get back together but then you realize that they died in a car crash

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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