A priest a rabbi and the dalai lama walk into a bar. They decided to order the hotwings...... Why do u care??? : )

How do you get a bent nail out of a board? You carefully pry it out with the back of the hammer.

Why did the car go down the road? Someone was driving it. Why did the car stop? Because he suddenly fell and had a stroke.

What's green and has wheels? Grass i was lying about the wheels.

How could Jamie not come out and play? His mum had cancer

what did Harold Camping say to the little girl and boy? "You and your parents are going to die today"

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

Q. What did the mockingbird say to the blue jay? A. I mock you by mocking you

roses are red violets are blue i have some cheese im going to eat it

how did helen keller's parents punish her? stuck a plunger in the toilet

That awkward moment where all you want for Christmas is for your parents to get back together but then you realize that they died in a car crash

whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? having your titties super glued to a triceritops' as cheeks while the triceritops has chronic diahrea

What did one dolphin say to the other after watching a banana dance with an afro. My pancreas was replaced with a mango.

Know what im sayin'? No but im wearing pants

Why did the student have a staring contest with his teacher? Well, the teacher was actually unaware of the competition.

wanna hear a joke? me niether.

What do you call a black guy that flies a plane? A pilot.

A woman walks up to a man in a supermarket and asks him where she can find the potatos. He says "I think they are all the way at the end on aisle 3" "Thanks" she says. Then she gets to aisle 3, and there aint no potatos!!!!

Roses are Red Violets or Red Trees are Red HOLY SH*T MY GARDEN'S ON FIRE!

How do you get Helen Keller to keep a secret? You politely ask her not to tell anyone.

What is worse then your car getting hijacked? A 900 pound man eating a Donut.

Q: What do yoiuo call an Italian butler? A: Vinny

Why are asians such bad drivers? Cause they constantly have their eyes closed.

why did the chicken cross the road? I never got to ask it got hit by a car.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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