What did the atheist say as Jesus walked past? nothing, he ran to the nearest bar and called the insane asylum.

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Why did the tomato fall off the swing? Because tomatoes don't have arms.

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Why couldn't the little seven year old girl paint her finger nails? She fell in front of a train.

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Why did the man fall off his bike? Because he wasn't on a bike.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I was diagnosed as criminally insane Wanna be my friend?

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Yo momma is so fat that....actually she's quite fit and i'd love to take her out on a date.

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When Chuck Norris does a push up, he's working out.

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Why did the father leave work early on his son's birthday? He was rushed to the hospital after facing a severe heart attack due to a history of cardiovascular disease in his family.

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Why did the baby cross the road? Because ti was stapled to the chicken.

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I was going to type an anti-joke but I totally forgot how it starts. It goes something like something something something something something your mom's a whore.

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Three Kids dressed as a bear, a chicken, and a penguin walk into a bar. The bartender asks the to leave as they are all under the legal drinking age.

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Why is Dave's baby dead? Because his wife threw it into the path a Big-rig.

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How many Jehovah's Witnesses does it take to screw in a light bulb? 2. One to firmly hold the ladder and the other to cautiously screw it in. They are volunteering at the local orphanage and it is wrong to make fun of there religion. We are all different in our own special way. ernkso

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What do you call a fat, ugly kid? An unloved child.

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How can you get an asian kid to flunk a class? You can't.

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Q: why did the chicken cross the road? A: toothpaste

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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How many inches of snow are there when the fireplace burns for 10 minutes? Red chickens

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Why did the squirrel across the river upside down? So it could keep its nuts dry.

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What did Helen Keller say? Obcojbcidjbcidjbdijcbd

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Why was the boy sad? He was harassed by his mum who died in the 1800's and went into a depressive state in which he drove himself to death using a pair of pliers and a rechargeable battery. No, he really just stubbed his toe.

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a man walks into a bar. ouch. that must suck, but he should really look where he's going

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She was dead

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So Colton Yepma walks in to Accounting and proceeds to read jokes

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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