roses are red , violets are blue i love bernard he loves me too if you take him from my place i'll smash my fist in your face.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the gay boys house. Knock knock! whose there? The chicken!!

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1. The name of your street 2. The name of your pet 3. Your favorite activity 4. The color of your eyes 5. The number of shoes you own Now fill in the blank with the corresponding number to your answers. "One day I was ___3___ my dog when a pornstar named __(1)__ ___(2)___ asked me how many times I can ___(3)____ myself. I said ___(5)___ times and the juice that came out of me was __(4)___."

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How do you catch a green elephant? you paint it red and use a Red Elephant Trap

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What's worse than a guy staring at you? Two guys staring at you.

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Whats worse than getting hit by a bus? Getting hit by two busses.

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Doctor, everybody despises me. That cant be totally true you despicable piece of shite!

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Why did the black man commit suicide? Because he was killed by a white cop.

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Roses are red violets are blue your dads got hair what happened to you

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? A bike

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What's worse than 50 dead babies stapled to trees? 47 dead babies stapled to trees (it's better if it's a nice, round number.)

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because Suzy has no arms! Knock Knock! Who's There? The Holocaust

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I was going to write a joke about procrastination, but I haven't gotten to it yet.

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Q:What happened when the bear walked into the bar? You cannot answer because you were seriously injured by the bear.

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Why can a black man beat a white man in basketball? They are generally better at basketball Why cant a black man beat a KKK member in basketball? He valued his life and didnt want to die

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Who cured cancer? Not God. What do you think of the almighty now?

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Ever heard of carpel tunnel? Well after that girl it was more like carpal toungal

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What is the difference between a trampoline and a baby? You take your boots of before jumping on the trampoline!!!!!!!!!

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i'm an inbred jew - Barras

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Why is Tommy dead? Because he died.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead.

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i wonder who made this website? a human

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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THAT AWKWARD MOMENT... nuff said

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops