A man used a ruler to measure his foot, it was size 11

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Try this on your friends and make them look dumb So a plane crashes on the border between the USA and Canada. Where do you bury the survivors? You don't bury the survivors.

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What do Ethiopians do on Fridays? Starve.

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Why did the boy throw the clock out of the window? Because it was broken.

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Potatoes have skin, i have skin, so therefore i must be a pig

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What's worse than a dead baby joke? A dead baby.

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Why Didn't The Teenager Bring His Report Card Home to His Parents? Because He Was Murdered By Thugs Walking Home From School.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the stock market crashed 600 points today, and his retirement account took a hit. He can't afford his car anymore.

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Q: Why was the chicken waterboarded? A: Because the guy liked being cruel to animals.

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What's blue and fluffy? Blue fluff.

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What did the towel say to the other towel? Nothing, there was no topic of conversation.

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What's the difference between video games and a naked chick? The Holocaust.

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Why did the elephant cross the road? To run away from the angry chicken who was mad that he was slacking off work.

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What do Lincoln, JFK, and Barack Obama all have in common? They were all president of the United States of America and are relatively good people.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To escape his burning car wreck.

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KONY 2012! *world rises up cheering in spontaneous patriotism for Africa* Leader of KONY 2012 arrested for public masturbation

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A man buys cocaine from a shady dealer in an alley. He then goes home and experiments with it and other chemicals, and later on invents Coca Cola

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Life is like a box of chocolates. The worst ones remind you of how horrible your life is.

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a horse walks into the bar. the bartender asks why the long face.

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Rsoes are geern Voielts are ornage I'm colorbilnd and Dixlesic.

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A man walks into a bar and the bartender suddenly runs out the door frantically yelling, "He's got a gun! He's got a gun!" Meanwhile, inside the bar, the patrons overpowered the gunman, tied him up and took his weapon and all the cash he had. They later used his money to buy more drinks at another bar.

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What has nine arms and sucks? Four children with two arms snacking on a lollipop, and one child with one arm snacking on a lollipop.

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how many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop 397, IF you have a big tounge

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What did the fork say to the spoon? To get to the other side.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops