Customer Service "May I help you?" "Yes."

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life is like a box of chocolates........no it's not

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What happens when you mix breed a cat and a human?? .. you get arrested and get raped by your fellow prisoners DONT do it!

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A man is walking down the beach and he spots an antique looking lamp in the sand, he picks it up and rubs it. Nothing happens and the man begins to cry realizing that his life is so dismal and pathetic he was ready to believe he had found a magic lamp. He proceeds to run into the water and bash himself senseless with a large rock until he passes out and drowns.

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What do you call a horse with two legs? A kangaroo

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What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a larger worm in your apple.

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When life gives you Live Aid, celebrate the fact that you've just gone back in time 27 years and somehow cheated death temporarily.

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what did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? a nintendo wii.

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why did the man fall down? because he was shot.

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If quizzes are quizical, what are tests? Testicals

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Whats slower than molasses? Slightly thicker molasses.

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Why is the boy sad? He was getting bullied so he later on talked to a teacher and the bully and him settled their differences. The bullied boy still wishes the bully to go to hell.

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A priest, a nun and an Irishman walk into a bar. The barman says 'what is this, a joke?'

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Yo momma so fat, she's dead.

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a horse walks into a bar, hours later it walks out on two legs and the man who saw it all happen couldn't believe his eyes. The man then turns to the bartender and says, "I theenk eye've had enuf, Cut me hoff!"

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I would tell you a joke about a blunt pencil but it's pointless

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What is a kangaroos favorite desert? The outback

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9/11 my birthday

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What's worse than losing the remote? A steamroller going backwards on the highway.

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What's worse than finding a worm inside your apple? Finding an apple inside your worm.

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Why do Asians get 50% off on movies? They don't.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I workout, Don't mess with me.

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A man walks off the top of a very tall building. Why did he fall off? Because he was blind

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Have ever seen Helen Keller's house? No. Neither has she.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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