roses are red , violets are blue i love bernard he loves me too if you take him from my place i'll smash my fist in your face.

What's worse than being raped by a giant scorpion? Eating mud

Why am I constipated? I ate fiber glass insulation.

Why is there an owl out during the day? I don't know.

What did the lactose intolerant boy say when he accidentally drank some milk? Nothing, he went into anaphylactic shock and couldn't breathe.

Knock knock. Who's there? The police. We are here to inform you that your daughter has died in a drunk driving accident.

RACIST JOKE: how to start a footrace in ghana role a donut down a hill

cops:knock- knock person: who's there? cops: the cops person: the cops who cops: we found the body #Casey Anthony

Whats fluffy, multicolored, and dances like a disco santaclaus? i don't know.

Y did the boy fall down the stairs???? He was In a wheel chair

What do you call a deer with only one leg? A one legged deer. What do you call a deer with one leg, one eye and lives in Rome? Still a one legged deer.

Why did the chicken cross the playground? Because he was looking for other chickens because he has no friends and he got bullied when he was in 12th grade. He got picked on because he was sledding down his hill in his backyard and he accidentally scraped one side of his face on ice and started bleeding. The next day his classmates started calling him two face.

What is worse than a dog bite? A shark bite.

What did the guy say to the other guy? Hello.

A dog was barking at a tree

What's your favorite Sylvia Plath quote? "Turn on the oven."

What's funny about four black guys driving off a cliff in a Cadillac? They were my friends...

why did the man fall down? because he was shot.

Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

What is said about the man who is addicted to online gaming? He plays more than 5 hours per day and doesn't have any social contacts or whatsoever.

I once was told that life is like a box of chocolates, but then realized that it wasn't

Knock Knock. Who's There? Orange. Orange Who? No, this is Homeland Security. We have raised the current terrorism threat level to Orange, which means there is a high risk of terrorist attacks. Please report any suspicious behavior.

Iceland is actually green and Greenland is actually icy and Germany started the Holocaust.

What's the difference between a black man and a bench? The bench is an object and the black man is a human being.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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