What's the difference between a black man and a bench? The bench isnt going anywhere.

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roses are red violets are blue I have a knife stand by the door

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Why did the little kid drop his ice cream? ...... Because he was startled by the pedophiles penis being shoved up his ass.

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Q: What's brown and sticky? A: Feces

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How many Dead Babies does it take fill a phone booth? There is an obvious epidemic going around causing millions of babies to die. This is no laughing matter and the mothers of these babies are probably going through therapy to get over their lost.

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If all ziggles are zaggles and all zaggles are zumbles, then why is your mother a whore?

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Hickory dickory dock. Two mice ran up the clock. The clock struck one; The other escaped with minor injuries.

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Doctor! doctor! I feel like a bridge! That's the least of your problems you've got cancer by ndc

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Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry and lost man passes by and considered eating one of the muffins. Unfortunately he can't make a decision in time and took of in his 4-wheel drive. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin the camel ate was poisoned. The now not so hungry and lost man looks at the dead camel and noticed the zoo is almost closing now. So he left in a hurry, to cook for his family.

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender says, "What can I get for ya?" The man replies, "A beer."

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What did Jesse's friend say to Jesse? Hello Jesse

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How do you make an elephant float? Who cares?

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What's long and sexy? The Eiffel Tower

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/\ The joke above was really dumb. \/ The joke below is pretty good.

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Then I contracted bronchitis from the smoke. Unfortunately I don't not have time to visit a doctor to mend this debilitation. In fact, nobody does.

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Knock knock. Who's there? the police.

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What hurts like hell? HELL

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What's fat, round and bounces on the ground? A ball. I lied about the fat bit.

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what has 8 legs, is brown, and will bite you? my crap

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What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? We're both lawyers.

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why didn't the skeleton cross the road? He had no guts

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Because it was in the oven because the farmer was cooking it for dinner.

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What do you get when you cross a spider with a cow? A dead spider.

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A man walks into a bar. He is rushed to the hospital and has his wounds treated.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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