Why didn't the condemned man seek a reprieve of his execution? He forgot.

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some dude: weed is bad Other dude: then why do they prescribe it to people are you dumb or are you stupid

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"hey do you know the date" "58"

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It wanted to commit suicide

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ha ha, I can talk and you can't.

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A frog, duck, monkey and beaver each enter a bar being carried by a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead. If your wondering, the redhead carried two animals.

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A man walks into a bar. And has a beer.

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If I could slow down time I would have become a super criminal or something, no, my movements become slower also, ever heard of a game Max Payne? The character can slow down his perception of time and still aim his gun normally while he himself moving at the same speed as the rest. I well... when time seems to go slower, my thoughts do not, so yeaaah, Except my fast reactions also make me wear myself out faster to the point where I got injured a lot as a kid, like smacking my wrist against arcade games and stuff, broke my wrist, as a teen, still hurts when it rains, yeah weird but true.

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Why doesn't God like pizza? Because he doesn't exist.

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What did the white man say to the black man? Did you see the game yesterday?

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Why did Suzy fall of the swing? Because she had no arms!

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One day a kid said to his mom: "Mom, I painted the bed sheets with your lipstick". So his mom got mad.

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Why can't bob fix it? I through a frige at him.he died.

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Q. How many infants does it take to paint a wall? A. Depends how hard you throw them...

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I wrote a funny joke.

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A blonde, a Jew, and a black man all went to the store. They each bought their groceries and went home to enjoy the rest of their day with their families.

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Why did the friendly not play outside? Because they were dead. Just like your dreams.

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What's worse than stepping in tar? Getting your face ripped off by a man sized Tarantula

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One, two, three, four and five

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why was 6 afraid of 7? because seven is a murdering sociopath

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a blond goes into a taxi, the driver asks where to my friend , the blond says her desired location, gets droped off and trips, falls on her head, suffers major injuries, dies,weeks later the taxi driver drove the family to the funeral, they walk out and one of of them trips and gets back up...

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Whats a joke with no meaning? This one

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The horse replies " My daughter just died of leukemia."

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Why did the chicken cross the road? We will never know. Chickens are incapable of communicating with humans and thus the intent of the chicken can only be speculated.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops