Roses are red Violets are? blue Lets eat poo I know you want to

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What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? We're both lawyers.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Some roses are white 72.4% of Americans are too

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Your mom is so dirty, She smells.

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the WNBA.

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-Is your refrigerator running? -Yes. -Just wondering.

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your skull would make a nice pen holder

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Q: How do you kill a goblin if the fries are next to the sushi? A: Yes. Walruses have nostrils and rubber chickens don't like microwaves!

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The Below statement is an antijoke. The Above statement is a joke.

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How did the blonde die raking leaves? She fell out of the tree!

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A bartender walks into a bar. I know what you're thinking. You think he works there but that is not correct. He works at a different bar. Anyways, he buys a few drinks and leaves. He was impressed with the service.

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Why did the man buy his wife expensive flowers? It was their anniversary and he is a faithful husband.

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What's the difference between a pelican? 28, because elephants have 4 legs.

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Bartender: What are you having? Sally: Can I have a martini? Bartender: How do you want it? Sally: I want it tall and black, like my man.

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Why didnt the vampire have a reflection? You have to be real to have a reflexion

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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What is green, red, and goes 70 mph? A frog in a blender

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How do you get a blonde to stop talking? Hit her in the head with a brick.

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What is lazy? My balls. All they do is hang.

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Knock Knock. Whose there? The IRS. All your base are belong to us.

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What is similar about Michael Jackson and Walmart? Nothing they have nothing to do with each other

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Two scientists are working in a lab. The first one asks, "Do you want some sodium?" The second one pours acid into the first one's eyes.

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Hey, in case you are around and still wonder how he got out. Anonymous tip from yours truly, if he had remained there, you would all have taken the blame. Just stay away from the deep web, and I wont be forced to come get all of you as well. For a long while I was suspicious that you might have been leaking information regarding me and all of us, but then the rules changed and information regarding Point Zero, subtle hints and such, began spreading, it has been removed, nobody will know what Intel was sold, so yeah, he was a mole, he is no more, for this I am sorry.

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I have to tell yo people a story and you have to answer it. Q/S(Story):There once was a boy by the name of aids. He had aids because he had aids. He dad had aids, his mom had aids his whole family had aids. How did he die? A: He got hit by a bus you heartlest basterd.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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