What's worse than the haulocost? Not much.

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What's the difference between a sack of dead babies and a Mustang? I don't have a Mustang in my garrage.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Sorry wrong door.

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How do you keep an elephant from charging? Ask nicely.

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What's large and blue? Probably quite a few things.

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Why did Timmy drop his ice cream cone? Because a skyscraper landed on him. Yes. A skyscraper.

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Why did 3 kids mom's die last year? Because they were depressed and committed suicide.

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Whats worse than getting shot? Getting shot twice.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two but I don't know how they got in there.

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Why did the baby cross the road? Because he was stapled to the chicken.

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what did the food critic say when he was handed a snickers? I'm allergic to peanut butter

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Why is the sky blue? You like men.

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Q: What did the doctor say to his wife? A: Penis.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says 'Why the long face?' The horse says 'My alcoholism is destroying my family.'

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2 bald men are standing on an oval, one turns to the other and says "leukemia."

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Roses are red Violets are blue I've got to say I hate you!

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Why are the deserts so dry? Obama

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What did one cat say to the other cat? --------- Meow --------- What's pink and fluffy? --------- Pink fluff --------- What's green and yellow? --------- Grass. I lied about the yellow part.

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A: What does MC Hammer like? B: Big Butts. A: Can he lie? B: No.

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What do you do to a woman who has a black eye? Punch her in the other eye so that they match.

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Three Blondes were walking when they come upon some tracks. The first blonde says they're deer tracks. The second blonde says they're elk tracks. The last blonde says they're moose tracks. While they are all arguing about what type of tracks they are, they get hit by a train.

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What did the fat man say to everyone? Hey everyone! I am i fat man!

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Whats black and blue and red all over? A housewife that was recently abused by her alcoholic wife. (from will c. and jack f.)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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