Why does the Pentagon have twice as many toilets built as is legally obliged? Racial segregation

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What did the vibrator say to the condom? Watch, I'll get laid before you do!!!

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If I could slow down time I would have become a super criminal or something, no, my movements become slower also, ever heard of a game Max Payne? The character can slow down his perception of time and still aim his gun normally while he himself moving at the same speed as the rest. I well... when time seems to go slower, my thoughts do not, so yeaaah, Except my fast reactions also make me wear myself out faster to the point where I got injured a lot as a kid, like smacking my wrist against arcade games and stuff, broke my wrist, as a teen, still hurts when it rains, yeah weird but true.

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why did the pancake eat a spanish holiday? Because a plane crashed into his condominium

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Knock Knock Who's There Carly Carly Who Hey I just met you, and this is crazy So here's my number and call me maybe

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What's the capital of Hungary? Thirtsy

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What name do you call a woman who is pregnant? Her first name.

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Wenn Sie dies zu übersetzen, dann ist dein ein Esel

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what do you call 100 muslims on a plane? Passengers

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How did the Mexican got into the USA? Trough the border.

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Do you like fish sticks? Yes. Me too.

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Jake snow steals ideas he doesn't make them up

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This sentence will not end the way you octopus.

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"Knock knock" "Who's there?" "Fairy floss" "Fairy floss who?" "I'm sugar coating your Cancer diagnoses"

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Why did the man have a really short temper? HOW THE **** SHOULD I KNOW???

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a swimming pool? Determined.

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What's worse than dropping your loli-pop? The Holocaust

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Why does Tim Tebow kneel and pray after there's a positive outcome of the previous play? No, seriously, why does he do that?

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L.A Clippers 2000-2012 season!!!!

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Why did Stephen Hawking ask for pizza? Because he was hungry.

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Why do Mexicans always have heart burn? Because the food is spicy.

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How do mummies keep there secrets wrapped up? They are dead.

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What do you call a fish with no I Defected at birth

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Q:What happened when the bear walked into the bar? You cannot answer because you were seriously injured by the bear.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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