What did the flower say to the flowerpot? Nice weather we're having

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What did one viking say to the other viking? I don't know, it was in Danish

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why was the boy sad? his bellybutton hurt

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Why did the little girl cry? Her mom died

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How do you keep your dog from running away? Put it on a leash.

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What's white and looks like paper? Paper

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Roses are red, violets are blue, your Mom is a fake, she adopted you!

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Jacob Mckeand licks his gooch everynight. Some nights he even covers it in maple syrup. 'mmmmm' he thinks to himself as he licks his 7 inch gooch up and down.

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What's green and red? A frog in a blender

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what happens when an Asian and a Jew get married. They have children.

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Why couldn't the turtle swim? Because he went too close to an oil spill, the petroleum got into his mouth and coated his lungs and he is now dead.

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Why couldn't the morbidly obese man get on a cruise ship? He didn't have a ticket.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Justin Bieber

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? the holocaust

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*insert lame joke stolen from the top 10 jokes and act like it's original because I changed one word*

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my wifes star sign is cancer, kinda ironic how she died really..... she got eaten by a giant crab.

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A man goes up to an old friend and says: "Help me, I just found out that my friend is gay! What should I do!?" The other man replies: "If there is no problem, I cannot help you... Yet, there is one. Your homophobia. I suggest that you see a therapist immediately and I hope that you can get over the fact of the contemplation of a sexuality."

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What is worst then 9/11? What? Tiger woods

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Why did the little girl only walk half way across the street She fell into a man hole and died

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Man 1: Did you hear that one about that girl who killed herself? Man 2: No Man 3: Yeah, neither did I

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Knock knock, COME IN!

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Customer Service "May I help you?" "Yes."

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What did Santa say when he fell down? Ouch

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, In Soviet Russia, Poem writes you.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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