Your mom is so fat that she saw a school bus full of white children and , thought "I can hardly even remember a time when my body used to be slim." She now keeps track of her diet and exercises regularly,the result of this has been a weight loss of over 95 pounds.

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A blonde walks into a bar. She enjoys a refreshing, cold beverage with friends before returning home to sleep ahead of another day of hard work as a scientist.

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Roses are red, violets are blue if God makes us beautiful, Who made you?

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A boy plays in his garden. Then he fall and his knee hurts a lot, but he doesn't cry. Do you know why? Because he's dead.

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what has four legs but cant move? dead dog

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Reality is often boring. TV is often bad for you. Reality TV is boring AND bad for you.

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She had no arms or legs. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Sarah.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Andy. You're late, I've been piss-arsing about waiting for you to get here.

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why did the boy drop his bus because he was hit by an ice cream

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Interviewer: Are you currently a smoker? Applicant: Are you implying that I look like a chimney?

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why did suzie fall off the swing? because shes autistic and her mother likes to abuse her.

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What's worse than eating half a worm? Eating somebody's brain.

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Why was the man lying under a sheet. Because he was dead.

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Guess what what?? chicken butt!!!!!

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I hate weddings! Old people always poke u and say "ur next" so I've decided to do the same to them... At Funerals

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How do you make something disappear from your hand? Throw it somewhere that's out of sight,

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What happened to the dog that ate to much? It became obese.

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How did the Mexican get into the United States? He showed his passport, and the correct documents & information, and was admitted into the country as a new American citizen.

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How much does Michael Vick love his dogs? More than Casey Anthony loved her daughter.

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Far from, yet all organizations are money based and put capitalism in front of all, so if lets say, one organization, needs help from another, a money transaction is made, I play a role there, as a well... Diplomat, its not my title, but my title is something I cannot reveal to anyone, not even my wife, id be putting myself and people in danger, but since I master things such as hypnosis, I can well, influence people, this is how I can pull of favors myself. Not favors such as "kill that guy for me", but more like... In your case. "If you are going to kill the wizard, please let the rest be, I know they are good people"

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Call me for a good time! 402-805-2412, I do anal!;) -Martini Wyant

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What's big, hairy and smells like sweat? The big show after a hard days work in the ring.

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What does a fish and a truck have in common? Nothing. One is a fish & one is a truck.

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derp

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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