Roses are blue Violets are red I shot your valentine Straight in the head

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Why did the black man go to jail? He stole some rice.

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A blind man walks into a bar, and a table, and a chair.

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There are stars in the sky when it's dark. You may have noticed I used a contraction in the previous sentence.

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What's worse than finding 16 dead babies in a tree? Finding 1 dead baby in 16 trees.

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What is the difference between a seal and an armadillo? They are both aquatic animals, except for the armadillo.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? John.

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why did the chicken cross the road it didnt

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Why did the car crash? Because the driver was blind

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? That would depend on the individual situation at hand and to assume you could accurately estimate that is ridiculous.

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tiger woods played golf against peyton manning and yet tiger still cant win.

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Why can't Helen Keller read? Because she's a woman

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Why are black people afraid of chainsaws? Because chainsaws are potentially dangerous weapons that may inflict bodily harm.

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What is three times more dangerous than war? Three Wars.

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What do an owl and a squirrel have in common? They can both fly! Except for the squirrel.

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How do my feet smell? Oh wait. They can't. Feet are not sentient independent beings and therefore cannot experience the five senses, including smell.

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What do you call a group of white males wearing hoods and setting fires? Cold

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I will see it when I believe it, as far as your order or whatever goes, I have already taken a look, and its nothing for me, you hide behind idealism yet use cruel methods and inhuman tactics in order to justify your means, you hide behind a shell of fucking "charm" and employ people to harass others. YOU ARE NO FUCKING BETTER THAN THE REST! YOU ARE BENEATH ME! As for that sister fucking bullshit, joke is on you, I do not have a sister! I bet that was one of your fucking "Nero`s" all six billion of your fucking personality disorders. Moral: I am the FUCKING MORAL MAN! And while I do not have a sister to rape, ill get down with yours.

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Yo momma's so stupid... she scored poorly on on the SAT, failed to get into a good college, worked at a walmart and lived an otherwise mundane life.

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roses are red violets are blue if you and your sister were hanging from a cliff i'd save your sister

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Why'd the chicken cross the road? It needed excitement in its otherwise mundane lifestyle.

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What red and goes up and down? A tomato in an elevator.

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For every person with a broken heart, there is another person out there with a stapler <3 And that person really needs to staple their math papers together so they can turn them in.

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How did the little boy fall off his bycicle? Prior to this incident, a psychopathetic killer murdered his family. Therefore, to escape the killer, the boy got onto his bycicle in hopes of manuvering away from the threat. Since it was nighttime he did not notice the fault in the asphalt.( No ryhme intendid.) From flipping over his handlebars, he fell unconcious. Upon the killer spotting the boy, he sliced his head off and left the scene to not be spotted by police.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops