Why do Squirrels accidentally plant millions of trees. Because they bury their nuts and forget where they are.

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How many pupils does the teacher have? 2.

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What's greenish blue, smelly, and mushy? The fungus under my sink.

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Your mom is so fat that she has trouble walking up the stairs because she gets easily winded.

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A black and a white walk into a bar, d.r. King would be proud.

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Q: What's worse than finding a fly in your soup? A: Getting your face smashed with a hammer.

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My girlfriend told me "Give me twelve inches and make it hurt" I ejaculated prematurely and fell asleep.

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women's rights

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what's the square root of pi? nothing. why would you add roots to pie, how gross.

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Nobody walks into a bar. So nothing happens.

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Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

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Q: Why do blondes wear hoop earrings? A: Those that wear them think that said earrings positively accentuate their physical appearance.

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What happened when the president cut the hedge That is a highly improbable solution because he would probably have a body guard do it.

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Q: Why did the mugger kill the bus driver? A: Because he had a gun.

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Lol, she does not think anything, she knows. Its not unfaithfulness if you ask for permission and are granted so because the trust is strong and mutual.

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I love bacon therefor I love people who eat bacon execpt people who eat my bacon then I hate people who eat bacon

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That's about as suspicious as a nun doing squats in a cucumber field.

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But officer, I did come to a full stop!

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Q: What is harder than cleaning off baby bloodstains off a wall? A: Cleaning multiple baby blood stains off a wall.

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Daughter: Mom can i watch a movie? Mom: Sure. Daughter: Thanks mom! You're the best mom in the world! Well....Mary is, since she had Jesus.....But anyway. Thanks!

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A detective? I think more about that chip and dale thing, that was not funny, the classics are okay I suppose, but that newer thing detective-ish maybe. Uh... Do I get a clue? I have not like watched all of them.

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How many blondes does it take to change a lightbulb? several.

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ha ha, I can talk and you can't.

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Why was the boy sad? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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