Children + my basement + my finger = yes

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What do call a black politician? Not Barack Obama, unless it's Barack Obama

what did the lesbian say to the man? I don't like penis

What did the red fish say to the blue fish? Nothing fish can't talk.

What's black and white and red all over? A dead Zebra

Is this your pen? I wanna go to school, bye!

Pickup line: Hey babe, do you work at Mcdonalds? Because I don't have a job, are you hiring?

Why couldn't the black man get his lawnmower to start? He was too poor to own a home =)

You're in the middle of the ocean and you see a roller coaster. What color is the penny? Tree.

What's worse than forgetting to charge your cell phone battery? Getting wrongfully accused and going to jail and get raped by inmates for the rest of your life.

A person was born on may 5th 1955 and one day noticed that they had $555.55 in their bank account. The person went to a race and betted all their money on the 5th runner in the 5th race. What happened? The runner came in 5th place.

Why was the black man unemployed and in debt? Because current socio-economic realities and systematic racial discrimination place him at a disadvantage in terms of education and employment. Indeed, it is statistically probable that he was raised below the poverty-line, greatly limiting his opportunities from a young age.

What do you call a black man that flies a plane? A pilot you racist bastard!

A young boy trips and severly cuts his knee while running down his neighborhood street. He is promptly brought to the hospital to avoid receiving any serious infection.

What happened to the pig? It got turned into bacon like every other pig.

why did the Cow die....? He didnt!!!!

What is the difference between Steve Jobs and a PC? PC's are not dead.

Why did sally fall out of the tree? Because sally was morbidly obese and uprooted the tree from underneath her subsequently causing her to splash violently on the ground. Why didn't sally get back up? Because the splash caused the earth to spin at 40000 rpm into the sun.

What happens when you get caught inside a tornado? You don't, the debris around you will most certainly kill you before you get close to the tornado.

A young blind boy is being tucked into bed by his mother. The mom says "Now Billy, pray really hard tonight and tomorrow, your wish will come true!". Billy says, "Ok mommy." and goes to sleep. The next morning, Billy wakes up and screams "MOMMY! I'm still blind, my wish didn't come true!", the mom answered, "I know - April Fools!"

Why does Joel get so many numbers from girls? Because he asks for them nicely.

Whats the sad thing about 4 black guys going over a cliff in a car? It was my car!

Guess what? Random shit. Why? Because almost nobody looks at the newest jokes to realize that 99.999% of jokes that just say random shit never get above the 0 mark.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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