A man walks into a bar. His crippling alcoholism is tearing his family apart.

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Don't chop the dinosaur daddy! OK.

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Yo mama's like Darfur: Everyone feels bad for her, but nobody offers any substantial assistance.

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Three men walk in to a bar, One ducked

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A woman walks into the kitchen to see her husband cooking dinner because gender stereotypes have been dead for years.

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"hey do you know the date" "58"

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What's your blood type? Red.

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Why did the little girl fall to death? Because pigs can't fly. It's impossible.

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What did the penguin say to the other penguin? Nothing, penguins don't talk.

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Why did the man die when he hugged the pillow? He was hallucinating at the grand canyon.

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What do you get when you put a woman in a room with 4 guys? She gets Gang Banged.

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Why are all the dinosaurs extinct? Because you touch yourself at night,

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Why did the girl drop out of school? She was being sexually assaulted by her mothers alcoholic boyfriend and was having trouble coping.

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Whats the difference between eating an egg and an abortion? Think about it.

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Why did the girl need a peice of gum after spending 20 minutes parked in the truck with her boyfriend? Because she had spent the last 20 minutes eating sweets, which she couldnt let her mom know she had eaten because her mom calls her fat everyday even though she only weighs 110 pounds, and forces her to only eat vegetables.

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what does michael jackson do to little boys? nothing, he's dead.

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Jimmy comes home from school one day and goes to his mother. "Mommy, guess what?" "What?" "I had sex with my teacher today!" Naturally after hearing such news the mother gets appalled and tells her husband. "Well, that's my boy" he says "Now that your a man Jimmy we're going to go out and get some drinks tonight be ready in a half an hour." So they arrive at the local bar "Wait here son, you can sit down and save us a table and I'll go get the drinks ok?" "No dad I think I'll stand" "..why? What's the matter son?" "My butt hurts"

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Roeses Are Red Violets Are Blue He's The One For Me And Not For You, And If You Try To Take My Place I Will Take My Fist And Smash Your Face(:

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Why did the teacher fall on her face? She was shot in the back of her head.

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A homosexual walked into a bar. He orders a beer. When he holds out his credit card, the bartender says, "We do not accept credit." Upon hearing this, the homosexual reaches into his wallet and pulls out five dollars. Because it is legal tender, the bartender takes the money and gives the homosexual the change that is due. The homosexual proceeds to drink the beer. When he is finished, he walks out of the bar. Nobody is aware of his sexual orientation.

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Why did the chicken cross the road It was being dragged to the other side by fox It's the way of life _._._

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Elise's parents have four children. The first's name is April, the second's name is May, the third's name is June. What's the fourth children's name ? July. Elise is adopted, and thus does not count.

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what's the difference between a zebra and a horse They are spelled differently

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What did the Triceratops get for his birthday? Nothing. Dinosaurs are extinct.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops