Gays always seem happy wonder why Straights complain to much

Q: What's worse than a worm in you're apple... A: The fact that you have all-timers and can't remember...

A man buys cocaine from a shady dealer in an alley. He then goes home and experiments with it and other chemicals, and later on invents Coca Cola

What are three things an average teenager cannot live without? Oxygen, Food, and Water. Duh.

An apple a day keeps the doctor away. Unless your father is a doctor and you live with him.

What happened to the girl who got an infection from an abortion? She died.

yo mama so fat she died from a heart attack

Peas

how do u wake kesha up? Answer:set her alarm clock to a reasonable time

You idiot.

what kind of dog can tiptoe

why did the chicken cross the road? it didn't it got hit by a bus.

knock knock... who's there? uninterrupted cow uninterrupted cow who?? exactly....

chickens, roads, horses, bars,roses, violets, sally, knock, knock, fnord

I heard a joke one time about a Rabbi, a Priest, and a little boy. It wasn't funny.

Q:Whats the difference between Glenn Close and a black widow? A:one is a person, the other is a species of spider.

Jack: Hey, you know what sucks? Jill: Vacuums Jack: Hey, you know what sucks in a metaphorical sense? Jill: Black holes Jack: Hey, you know what just isn't cool? Jill: Lava?

Q:what do you call a black man with blonde hair flying a plane? A: A pilot

How do you survive the end of the world? You can't- everyone will die!

I see you driving 'Round town with the girl I love And I'm like, Haiku!

Timmy: "Dear Santa, why don't you ever come to my house?" Santa: "Because you don't have parents, Timmy" THE END

Customer: Waiter, waiter, there is a fly in my soup! Waiter: Sorry madam.

If Santa's not real, then who pees on the tree every morning?

Why did god make asians? I dont know. Yah, me niether

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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