Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it was hit by a bus.

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What's worse than eating a baby? Eating two babies filled with maggots.

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whats the same about a red crayon and a blue crayon? there both the same color except for the blue one

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If life throws you melons, you should do your best to avoid them. Large and hard objects such as melons can easily harm you if moving at high speeds. Fortunately, life is not a physical entity that can throw melons or anything else - so the chances of this event occurring to you are exceedingly low.

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? None. It is an avian species incapable of throwing such a heavy material as wood.

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When Chuck Norris dives into a pool... he gets wet due to the aqueous nature of the water

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A white person went to see Think like a Lady by Steve Harvey.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To go home and beat his wife

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A raccoon walks into a bar. He then proceded to bite 3 people before animal control got him. A black man, hispanic man and an asian man. Later they all walked to the hospital and were treated for rabies, they were all fine as rabies is normally not fatal when caught early. Moral- this story is racist cause the white man was completely unharmed, DONT DISCRIMINATE!

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Whats the difference between Sarah Palin and Jason Voorhees? Jason has a chainsaw.

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Why did the most interesting man in the world refuse to eat his buttered toast? It just so happens that the cook accidentally used stale bread, causing it to taste unsatisfactory.

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A man visits an anti joke site looking for some humor. realizing that its not funny, he closes the window.

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Girl you must be Jamaican...because you're black and annoying.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop? It's hard to say, as this number depends on a large number of factors including the average area covered by one lick, the pH of saliva, the solubility of Tootsie Pops, the temperature of both the saliva and the Tootsie Pop, and the amount of saliva deposited on the Tootsie Pop after each lick. This is not to mention all the manufacturing irregularities that may occur during production, and varying tongue shapes and solvency properties of saliva.

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a cat and a duck walk into a pub. the cat enters first and says for the duck to put all of their drinks on his bill. the duck(being a duck)says nothing because ducks cannot speak. therefore the cat shouldnt have been speaking either.

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What's worse than anti-jokes? The holocaust.

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Why did the cow cross the road? Cause it wanted to. Why di the chicken cross the road? Cause it was stapled to the cow's face.

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If you are what you eat, then imagine a prostitute.

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How many cans does the average alcoholic drink in one night? None. Cans are solid and therefore cannot be drank.

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How often do you remember a dream? Well what if I told you that this is a dream go ahead pinch your arm. You probably didn't feel pain. And just incase jump out a fifth story window. Come on do it. Now if you are still reading this you are either dreaming or didn't jump out the window. Shame on you!!!!!!

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How do you run faster than a cheetah? Cut off its legs.

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Why didnt the boy finish the race? Becuase he stepped on a land mine.

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Why was the cancer patient often bullied by his peers? Because he happened to be an extremely bad person. He often annoyed people, was intransigent and often aggravated those around him causing them to bully him.

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were did the gay guy go nowere because it was raining outside

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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