How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? A lot.

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How many cows does it take to swim on land? 4.2

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Why was the man alone? Because he was tied to a tree.

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Roses are purple violets are green I am color blind shut up

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What did the man say when he realized that he was late for work? "Shit, I'm late for work."

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what is the difference between hitler and the jews? They had different religions

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A man works at a Doritos factory hes worked there for a few weeks and hes made the most Doritos in his line now and the head of the company gives him a promotion he now runs his own line a few months later the head of the company bob comes back to him and promoted him again to now our friend Carl is head of the Factory about two years later bob comes to Carl and hes promoted to head of the east coast he is head of 27 Factories about a decade later bob asks Carl if when he retires Carl will take over the company and he accepts bobs offer 23 years pass and bob retires Carl is the new head of the company so he is about like 65 at this point and he wants some wine so him and his buddies go for some wine Dan says Carl this lines two long so they decide to have some soda and then Jason says this lines longer then the last one so Aiden says to Carl why don't we go get some punch so they all got into line but there was no punch line a.w. j.p.

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Q: What's DNA? A: The National Dyslexic Assosiation.

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One day a terribly epileptic child is put on on a strict Atkins diet by his loving mother. A week later he finds that the frequency and intensity of his seizures have been reduced by its ketogenic effects, which provides exogenous fats for the body to burn, but limits the available carbohydrate so that ketone bodies build up. It is the high level of these ketones which appear to suppress seizures.

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Whats the difference between a dead baby and a lamborghini? Dead babies are not sports cars

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2 men were friends 1 went to hell The other went to heaven

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Why couldn't Jack and Jill climb the hill? Because they were bagels.

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When life gives you lemons, you must also have a proportionally sufficient amount of both water and sugar in order to make lemonade.

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A princess kisses a frog to acquire a prince. Then gets arrested for beastiality.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was stapeled on to the elephant.

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What do you get when you mix Lil Wayne and Lil John? A full size John Wayne

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Whats white and blue and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? a fridge in a denim jacket :D

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What's tall, has a really long neck, and eats leaves? My tall vegan neighbor's giraffe

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A blond, brunet, and redhead were stranded on an island. With in a week they all died of starvation.

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knock knock, whos there? the bum bum boys ready to dance :) ``~ ``sms

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It takes a minute to know somebody, an hour to fall in love, but a lifetime to forget. Once, my mom forgot me at Disney World.

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"Horse walks into a bar. Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from. So, you should probably leave."

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Whats the diffrence between a white and a black guy? one of them is black

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How do you make a boy cry? Pour hot soup on his head.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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