why wasnt johnny in math class?....he slipped and cracked his skull on his way there, he is now recovering at the hospital

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What did Joe get for his first birthday? Nothing he died at birth

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Sarah, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and even though she is a little sweaty At the moment, you realize what a beautiful woman she really is. You decide to ask her to marry You, and after she says yes, you two make passionate love in the front seat Of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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An Irishman walks into a bar.....Duh.

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Why was the school girl called a dork. Because a whale penis is called a dork, and she identically resembles a giant aquatic dick.

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Why was the man lying under a sheet. Because he was dead.

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What did Helen Keller get for Christmas? A read along book

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what do u call a newspaper boy on brake? your uncle because hes broke and struggling with income.

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What do you call an apple, an orange, and a pear in a bowl? Fruit

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What's worse then finding a worm in ur apple? Nothing it sucks and it's a waste of an apple

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm schizophrenic And so am I

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? A lot.

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what would u do if you were having anal sex with a black guy and his penis was sooooo big that it ripped ur asshole? staple it back together

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roses are red, violets are blue, I have schizophrenia, which is a serious mental disorder in which I have difficulty properly experiencing reality. It should not be confused with multiple personality disorder, which is a completely different disease with different symptoms.

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How many cows does it take to swim on land? 4.2

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What's worse than finding a knife in your car? Finding a car in your knife.

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Why did the woman stop jogging? She got mauled by a bear.

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Why did the man hang himself? Because his pistol misfired.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? Pizzas were meant to be put in an oven.

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What's worse than one bee sting? Two bee stings. What's worse than two bee stings? The holocaust? What's worse than the holocaust? Three bee stings.

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why dont they make black forks

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If Tiger Woods is Asian and Black what is he? A golfer!

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends how hard you throw 'em.

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What do you do when a red gorilla comes running at you with 7 dominoes in his hand Ask him to stop

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops